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Be the Master of Your Destiny
Humility, Honesty, Healing………
In 2002 when I’d written in a notebook that I needed to cut down I thought I had booze under control. No, it was already in control of me…… It took me 13 years to be humble enough to finally admit I needed to quit (2015) . It took 13 years and it took community support for me to finally get control and stop drinking.
If you are drinking too much too often and want to stop or slow down come join us on the journey. Some count days, some choose a significant day to quit (for me it was 1st May, the anniversary of my younger brother’s funeral), some want to experiment with the idea of quitting. !
These are reflections on what I think helps in the early days. Join us on the Journey!
Humility, Honesty, Healing………
#1 Humility:
A recognition that booze was the predominant factor in our lives, affecting our health (especially our mental health), relationships, jobs, income, frequent accidents, responsibility and our memories. It took me 13 years to be humble enough to finally admit I needed to quit (2015) when I’d written in a notebook in 2002 that I needed to cut down. I thought I had booze under control. No, it was already in control of me……
#2 Honesty:
If we’re to succeed, we need to get as honest as a young child. You know the one – may be your kid(s), a nephew, or a friend’s kid. The one who asks, “Why did you say that?” “What made you do that?” “You’re really funny/weird when you have too much wine/beer” You get the drift.
Honestly, we need to make a commitment, and work on it every single day. Read the resources here on Boozemusings and in BOOM – under Topics; watch the videos, scan “in the news” and immerse yourself in all the help here. You will need Help, so ask for it, we love to pass on our tips, but honestly, you just use what works for you. No one is judging, remember we just care that you stay off the grog. It takes community support to stop drinking in a world where you’ll be questioned for putting down the booze.
And you may lapse. Most of us do. The thing with lapses is to learn what triggered you to drink when you’ve made that commitment and to have a plan in place for dealing with it next time. I avoided going into pubs the first 3 months: far too triggering, and stocked up on lots of alcohol free cordials and chocolate and ice cream. (Weight loss is #2 to losing the booze!) Climb back on board the next day – we’ve got you. The overall days count, not the x day -1. 90 days is 3 months of real progress and learning, and just having a one day blip in that is pretty impressive!
#3. Healing:
You will be healing physically, emotionally and then spiritually. This isn’t quitting booze, it’s really Redesigning your Life. All successful quitters/recoverers or life affirmers (use your word), use the space and time now available to us, to redesign their lives. Many lose 2-3 stone, and become gym/park run bunnies; others create award winning websites, like the Boozemusings Community and BOOM ; others retrain in more meaningful work; and others rebuild their relationships. This is all GREAT stuff. You decide: you are now the Master of your Destiny! (Me? I chose to become peaceful and integrate all the dark stuff from my childhood into a much more compassionate me. Writing a book now!)
So, whether this is day 1, 101, 1001, or even 10,001, we all work on this on a daily basis. It should bring joy (after the graft of the first 3 months) and that joy should widen and deepen.
Sending hugs, love and strength to you today.
Today matters!
(Wonderful images by in this post by Jonathan Warner of Warner Vision.)
If you would like to comment on this post you will find it here inside the BOOM Community
This post was shared with the Boozemusings Community by Annette Allen, an active member of BOOM Community Rethink the Drink and the author of An Ethiopian Odyssey Find More from Annette Here and Here
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One response to “Be the Master of Your Destiny”
[…] By all definitions I am a highly functional alcoholic. The highly functional kind is the worst because all of the wonderful things that we accomplish every day encourage us to think that we are in control. […]