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My Sober Reality – From Week One to 200 days Alcohol Free and Feeling Fine!

It’s not the first time I’ve been here but today I’m 200 days alcohol free and this time it just feels different! An Ode to Me at Day 200 Alcohol Free! – Feeling Sober Beautiful ๐๐๐
Day 200 yesterday
Just wanted to pop in and say
Day 200 part 2
This feeling is new
I now WANT to be this free of booze
I’m glad not mad this time and it’s fine
At day 200 sober again
I don’t WANT to choose wine
Smashing the alcohol chains I made
To smithereens
Instead of attaching them to a wrecking ball
Demolishing dreams
And no amount of FOMO could convince me now
That alcohol is a good thing somehow
Because I’ve seen the devil there in the detail
It’s not the person on the bench drinking from a paper bag that’s the nail
It’s you or me
Could be anyone really
Because the detail concealed by the alcohol industry
Is that booze is an addictive substance
That could hook anyone clearly
And once it does it could become so addictive
That people start to live to drink and then drink to live
But this way of thinking then leads to more drinking
And then something will eventually give
So I no longer buy into the hammering, drink pushing memes
I’ve witnessed too many broken scenes
It’s Friday night later and it won’t be a hard fight
Because I’m making not drinking non negotiable tonight (ODAAT)
Don’t settle for broken scenes
Pursue your beautiful alcohol free dreams
And turn them into your sober reality
Don’t engage with the narcissist or it’s greed
By being clever but not complacent
And choosing which wolf to feed ๐บ
More Reading :
Are You Maybe Sober Curious? An Invitation to Imagine The Life that Sobriety Cultivates
Everybody Knows โ The Exhausting Paranoia of a Secret Drinker
Hearing the Distress Call โ How I Finally Quit Drinking
If youโre โsober curiousโ โฆ If you are drinking too much too often and want to stop or take a breakโฆ Talk to Us.
We are an independent, anonymous and private community who share resources, support and talk it through every day. It helps to have a community behind you in a world where alcohol is the only addictive drug that people will question you for NOT using
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Donโt let the shame of the stigma keep you from saying
โI think I have a problem with drinkingโ
This post and the following poems were written by Floss, author of Finding Balance at 6 Months Sober and many poetic musings on living alcohol-free
Looking Back to Week One Sober
They Told Me to Stop Drinking โฆ
Day 1 Sober
They told me to stop drinking
How dare they?
They donโt control my thinking
Iโll do what I want
They canโt tell me donโt
Well they can try
But Iโll just try harder wonโt I
Iโll prove to myself I can do this alone
Donโt need handholding
Well except by the Witch called wine
And her friend Vicious Vodka
โCos Iโll be fine
Wonโt I?
Where are they taking me
These trusted friends of mine
Headed towards a cliff?
The end of the line?
Hang on this wasnโt what I meant
I was just looking to forget my troubles and for a little (lot of) merriment
Perhaps itโs time I changed my own mind
And searched out friends that are sober kind
Noone can tell you what to do
It has to come from you
Go sober and go against the grain
Itโll lessen the pain, blame, fear and shame
The darkness ainโt all itโs cracked up to be
Itโs not romantic
Itโs just misery!
Day 2 Sober. No desire to drink, perhaps an inkling but Iโm not going to. My Alcohol Use Disorder score was 3 which works out โMildโ but itโs still AUD so obviously drinking is a bad idea for me. There is something else though, I just donโt want to drink anymore. I want to commit to being a non drinker.
Me rejecting wine:
โNo thanks I donโt drinkโ
Friends: โOh really why? Just have oneโ
Me: โNo thanks, it doesnโt suit me anymore, Iโm just not bothered, Iโd rather get โdrunkโ on cake and enjoying my life than craving booze after a few glasses. โ
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Saturday Wine Witch Misery
She says โErm excuse me please
Itโs Saturday night time for wine
Arenโt you forgetting something?โ
We donโt do that anymore i say
WW: โButโฆโฆitโs the weekendโฆ.and itโs Saturdayโ
Well Iโm changing the channel
Itโs been a week
WW: โWell you wonโt get any pleasure in alternatives you seek
And what about all the current worries on your mind
A bowl or 2 of choco hoops wonโt be as kind
Whereas I have the cure all
Admit it
Donโt I?
I soothe your brow when you want to cry!โ
Well letโs see now you also lie badly
Repeatedly it seems to me
WW: โAre you sure
Do I?
At least I always make you feel better right?โ
Well now that you mention it
You ruin it each time
And If when Iโm mad I have a glass of wine
I feel much worse
The thing is WW Iโm not the one thatโs cursed
You are
Destined to bring misery to all near and far
And though some wine appeals at the moment and looks nice
Itโs still a toxic, life destroying vice
I was sober 6 months
Iโm gonna do that twice
Thatโs my intention
So I might as well show you
I might as well mention
That I have the power to remove my attention
Whenever I agree with you
I always end up back here
Itโs not worth my health and time
To waste it on wine
Just so weโre clear
YOU ARENโT WELCOME HERE!
Though at the moment youโre shouting
And itโs barely a whisper
I can still hear my heart voice saying
โI want to be a non drinkerโ
Day 4 Sober
I think my inner child threw a strop
Bought things I didnโt need
Another huge coffee mug bought
Said it was necessity not greed
Another set of earphones
As my cat chewed through these
Thatโs now the 5th set ruined
Would she stop doing that please
Iโve adulting to do
My sons birthday to plan
But my inner child wants more presents too, she demands
Iโve bought her AF tops, some coasters, magazines, earphones, another mug
It says โcoffee is a big hugโ
Some Mason jars, a wave ring
Books and more cups
I think for now that lotโs kinda enough
But I just bought an exercise bike too
IC told me getting fit is the thing to do.
Time to put the brakes on
Reign her in a bit
I want a 4th cat
My husbandโs losing his shit
But heโll love it anyway
When he sees how cute it is
Even though
โ I donโt want another catโ
Is all I hear him say
I think Iโm trying to fill the emptiness here
With everything, including the kitten?
My IC is trying to find her own happiness
Trashing my finances
Leaving a mess
But by the rescue bug
Iโve definitely been bitten
#Rescueisthebestbreed
Day 5 Sober
Ditched the voice last night
Belonging to the Witch of hate
The Wine pusher
Sheโs a fright
Not a mate
And up close represents a horrific sight
โYour future is right here my dear
Pour a large glass and sit down, come nearโ
She continues โ1 becomes 2, 3 and then 4
It wouldnโt take long for you to start having more
Missed tv shows, missed conversations
A rotating lounge floor
Forget cleaning your teeth
You wonโt see the stairs anymoreโ
High functioning drinker
Sensitive thinker
Not waving but drowning here
In my constant glasses of wine or beer
Defending my high functioning label to the end
When the Wine Witch shows me finallyโฆ..
She was never my friend
When you get sober
Itโs first and formost for you
But believe me your loved ones will notice it too
Though theyโll be worried
Scared youโll lose ground
And might still be mistrustful
I bet theyโre secretly proud
When they realise how hard youโre working at it all
At how hard youโre trying not to fall
Itโll probably take more time than you want it to
But eventually I think theyโll respect you again too
Hopefully, I mean nothing is guaranteed clearly
But getting sober you start to like yourself again really
When you see your loved ones through your newly sober eyes
Keep going
Eventually your loved ones might return your smile
And trust will be built up
All because you never gave up giving up
You are so strong
And eventually theyโll understand that you were all along
Sobriety starts with and for you
But it positively affects others wonderfully too
Day 6 Sober
Mondayโฆ.Monday
My life isnโt perfect
But Iโm going to choose to be content
And alcohol has no place in it
Itโs not worth it
For the โmerrimentโ
Donโt want a course of health reduction, accidents and feeling crappy
Life can be hard enough
Without falling in that trap you see
Emails to answer
School place to seek
Covid anxiety high
Pressure already this week
From under my duvet
I donโt wanna peek
News is depressing
Want some contentment
It soothes me, it sings
Want to find joy amidst the chaos of things
Seeking out the moments of love that they bring
Itโd be easier to be overwhelmed and sink into a rut
With alcohol for company
Stuck in the mud
But if I did that Iโd miss everything thatโs good
Little miracles appear here and there
But stuck in booze muck
Weโd just miss it I swear
Iโll give you an example
An animal rescue recently
Saw before and after pictures
A miracle really
Itโs amazing what a lot of love and good food can do
Iโm convinced angels without wings walk this earth
I think I know a few
If you look closely
And alter your perception
Either a 360ยฐ or just a fraction or two
Youโll find the good in each day
That booze doesnโt want you to
Day 7 Sober
Sitting in the emptiness
The chaos, unhappiness, mess
Letting waves of emotion wash over us
In sobriety we try to trust
We deserve nothing less
Our will power alone struggling
We try something else
We must
Find a reason to give up at last
As booze could be taking us somewhere too fast
The game is rigged
But the die not yet cast
Hopefully
We get to decide which move we choose
We can work to either win or lose
It looks more fun in the Winners Circle of Sober
Than blacking out then a hellish hangover
When blocking things out becomes blacking out
Itโs past time to kick alcohol out right!?
