It’s not the first time I’ve been here but today I’m 200 days alcohol free and this time it just feels different! An Ode to Me at Day 200 Alcohol Free! – Feeling Sober Beautiful 😀😍💖

Day 200 yesterday
Just wanted to pop in and say
Day 200 part 2
This feeling is new
I now WANT to be this free of booze

I’m glad not mad this time and it’s fine
At day 200 sober again
I don’t WANT to choose wine
Smashing the alcohol chains I made
To smithereens
Instead of attaching them to a wrecking ball
Demolishing dreams

And no amount of FOMO could convince me now
That alcohol is a good thing somehow
Because I’ve seen the devil there in the detail
It’s not the person on the bench drinking from a paper bag that’s the nail
It’s you or me
Could be anyone really

Because the detail concealed by the alcohol industry
Is that booze is an addictive substance
That could hook anyone clearly
And once it does it could become so addictive
That people start to live to drink and then drink to live

But this way of thinking then leads to more drinking
And then something will eventually give
So I no longer buy into the hammering, drink pushing memes
I’ve witnessed too many broken scenes

It’s Friday night later and it won’t be a hard fight
Because I’m making not drinking non negotiable tonight (ODAAT)

Don’t settle for broken scenes
Pursue your beautiful alcohol free dreams
And turn them into your sober reality

Don’t engage with the narcissist or it’s greed
By being clever but not complacent
And choosing which wolf to feed 🐺

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More Reading :

Are You Maybe Sober Curious? An Invitation to Imagine The Life that Sobriety Cultivates

Everybody Knows – The Exhausting Paranoia of a Secret Drinker

Hearing the Distress Call – How I Finally Quit Drinking

If you’re “sober curious” … If you are drinking too much too often and want to stop or take a break… Talk to Us. 

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Don’t let the shame of the stigma keep you from saying

“I think I have a problem with drinking”

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This post and the following poems were written by Floss, author of Finding Balance at 6 Months Sober and many poetic musings on living alcohol-free

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Looking Back to Week One Sober

They Told Me to Stop Drinking …

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Day 1 Sober

They told me to stop drinking
How dare they?
They don’t control my thinking
I’ll do what I want

They can’t tell me don’t
Well they can try
But I’ll just try harder won’t I
I’ll prove to myself I can do this alone

Don’t need handholding
Well except by the Witch called wine
And her friend Vicious Vodka
‘Cos I’ll be fine
Won’t I?

Where are they taking me
These trusted friends of mine
Headed towards a cliff?
The end of the line?

Hang on this wasn’t what I meant
I was just looking to forget my troubles and for a little (lot of) merriment

Perhaps it’s time I changed my own mind
And searched out friends that are sober kind

Noone can tell you what to do
It has to come from you
Go sober and go against the grain
It’ll lessen the pain, blame, fear and shame

The darkness ain’t all it’s cracked up to be
It’s not romantic
It’s just misery!

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Day 2 Sober. No desire to drink, perhaps an inkling but I’m not going to. My Alcohol Use Disorder score was 3 which works out “Mild” but it’s still AUD so obviously drinking is a bad idea for me. There is something else though, I just don’t want to drink anymore. I want to commit to being a non drinker.

Me rejecting wine:
“No thanks I don’t drink”

Friends: “Oh really why? Just have one”

Me: “No thanks, it doesn’t suit me anymore, I’m just not bothered, I’d rather get “drunk” on cake and enjoying my life than craving booze after a few glasses. “

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Saturday Wine Witch Misery

She says “Erm excuse me please
It’s Saturday night time for wine
Aren’t you forgetting something?”

We don’t do that anymore i say

WW: “But……it’s the weekend….and it’s Saturday”

Well I’m changing the channel
It’s been a week

WW: “Well you won’t get any pleasure in alternatives you seek
And what about all the current worries on your mind
A bowl or 2 of choco hoops won’t be as kind
Whereas I have the cure all
Admit it
Don’t I?
I soothe your brow when you want to cry!”

Well let’s see now you also lie badly
Repeatedly it seems to me

WW: “Are you sure
Do I?
At least I always make you feel better right?”

Well now that you mention it
You ruin it each time
And If when I’m mad I have a glass of wine
I feel much worse
The thing is WW I’m not the one that’s cursed
You are
Destined to bring misery to all near and far
And though some wine appeals at the moment and looks nice
It’s still a toxic, life destroying vice
I was sober 6 months
I’m gonna do that twice
That’s my intention
So I might as well show you
I might as well mention
That I have the power to remove my attention
Whenever I agree with you
I always end up back here
It’s not worth my health and time
To waste it on wine
Just so we’re clear
YOU AREN’T WELCOME HERE!
Though at the moment you’re shouting
And it’s barely a whisper
I can still hear my heart voice saying
“I want to be a non drinker”

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Day 4 Sober

I think my inner child threw a strop
Bought things I didn’t need
Another huge coffee mug bought
Said it was necessity not greed
Another set of earphones
As my cat chewed through these
That’s now the 5th set ruined
Would she stop doing that please
I’ve adulting to do
My sons birthday to plan
But my inner child wants more presents too, she demands
I’ve bought her AF tops, some coasters, magazines, earphones, another mug
It says “coffee is a big hug”
Some Mason jars, a wave ring
Books and more cups
I think for now that lot’s kinda enough
But I just bought an exercise bike too
IC told me getting fit is the thing to do.
Time to put the brakes on
Reign her in a bit
I want a 4th cat
My husband’s losing his shit 
But he’ll love it anyway
When he sees how cute it is
Even though
” I don’t want another cat”
Is all I hear him say
I think I’m trying to fill the emptiness here
With everything, including the kitten?
My IC is trying to find her own happiness
Trashing my finances
Leaving a mess
But by the rescue bug
I’ve definitely been bitten

#Rescueisthebestbreed

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Day 5 Sober

Ditched the voice last night
Belonging to the Witch of hate
The Wine pusher
She’s a fright
Not a mate
And up close represents a horrific sight

“Your future is right here my dear
Pour a large glass and sit down, come near”
She continues “1 becomes 2, 3 and then 4
It wouldn’t take long for you to start having more
Missed tv shows, missed conversations
A rotating lounge floor
Forget cleaning your teeth
You won’t see the stairs anymore”

High functioning drinker
Sensitive thinker
Not waving but drowning here
In my constant glasses of wine or beer
Defending my high functioning label to the end
When the Wine Witch shows me finally…..
She was never my friend

When you get sober
It’s first and formost for you
But believe me your loved ones will notice it too

Though they’ll be worried
Scared you’ll lose ground
And might still be mistrustful
I bet they’re secretly proud

When they realise how hard you’re working at it all
At how hard you’re trying not to fall
It’ll probably take more time than you want it to
But eventually I think they’ll respect you again too

Hopefully, I mean nothing is guaranteed clearly
But getting sober you start to like yourself again really

When you see your loved ones through your newly sober eyes
Keep going
Eventually your loved ones might return your smile

And trust will be built up
All because you never gave up giving up
You are so strong
And eventually they’ll understand that you were all along

Sobriety starts with and for you
But it positively affects others wonderfully too

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Day 6 Sober

Monday….Monday

My life isn’t perfect
But I’m going to choose to be content
And alcohol has no place in it
It’s not worth it
For the “merriment”

Don’t want a course of health reduction, accidents and feeling crappy
Life can be hard enough
Without falling in that trap you see

Emails to answer
School place to seek
Covid anxiety high
Pressure already this week

From under my duvet
I don’t wanna peek
News is depressing
Want some contentment
It soothes me, it sings

Want to find joy amidst the chaos of things
Seeking out the moments of love that they bring
It’d be easier to be overwhelmed and sink into a rut
With alcohol for company
Stuck in the mud

But if I did that I’d miss everything that’s good
Little miracles appear here and there
But stuck in booze muck
We’d just miss it I swear

I’ll give you an example
An animal rescue recently
Saw before and after pictures
A miracle really

It’s amazing what a lot of love and good food can do
I’m convinced angels without wings walk this earth
I think I know a few

If you look closely
And alter your perception
Either a 360° or just a fraction or two
You’ll find the good in each day
That booze doesn’t want you to

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Day 7 Sober

Sitting in the emptiness
The chaos, unhappiness, mess
Letting waves of emotion wash over us
In sobriety we try to trust
We deserve nothing less

Our will power alone struggling
We try something else
We must
Find a reason to give up at last
As booze could be taking us somewhere too fast

The game is rigged
But the die not yet cast
Hopefully
We get to decide which move we choose
We can work to either win or lose

It looks more fun in the Winners Circle of Sober
Than blacking out then a hellish hangover
When blocking things out becomes blacking out
It’s past time to kick alcohol out right!?

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