My Sober Reality – From Week One to 200 days Alcohol Free and Feeling Fine!


It’s not the first time I’ve been here but today I’m 200 days alcohol free and this time it just feels different! An Ode to Me at Day 200 Alcohol Free! – Feeling Sober Beautiful ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’–

Day 200 yesterday
Just wanted to pop in and say
Day 200 part 2
This feeling is new
I now WANT to be this free of booze

I’m glad not mad this time and it’s fine
At day 200 sober again
I don’t WANT to choose wine
Smashing the alcohol chains I made
To smithereens
Instead of attaching them to a wrecking ball
Demolishing dreams

And no amount of FOMO could convince me now
That alcohol is a good thing somehow
Because I’ve seen the devil there in the detail
It’s not the person on the bench drinking from a paper bag that’s the nail
It’s you or me
Could be anyone really

Because the detail concealed by the alcohol industry
Is that booze is an addictive substance
That could hook anyone clearly
And once it does it could become so addictive
That people start to live to drink and then drink to live

But this way of thinking then leads to more drinking
And then something will eventually give
So I no longer buy into the hammering, drink pushing memes
I’ve witnessed too many broken scenes

It’s Friday night later and it won’t be a hard fight
Because I’m making not drinking non negotiable tonight (ODAAT)

Don’t settle for broken scenes
Pursue your beautiful alcohol free dreams
And turn them into your sober reality

Don’t engage with the narcissist or it’s greed
By being clever but not complacent
And choosing which wolf to feed ๐Ÿบ


More Reading :

Are You Maybe Sober Curious? An Invitation to Imagine The Life that Sobriety Cultivates

Everybody Knows โ€“ The Exhausting Paranoia of a Secret Drinker

Hearing the Distress Call โ€“ How I Finally Quit Drinking

If youโ€™re โ€œsober curiousโ€ โ€ฆ If you are drinking too much too often and want to stop or take a breakโ€ฆ Talk to Us. 

We are an independent, anonymous and private community who share resources, support and talk it through every day. It helps to have a community behind you in a world where alcohol is the only addictive drug that people will question you for NOT using

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Donโ€™t let the shame of the stigma keep you from saying

โ€œI think I have a problem with drinkingโ€


This post and the following poems were written by Floss, author of Finding Balance at 6 Months Sober and many poetic musings on living alcohol-free


Looking Back to Week One Sober

They Told Me to Stop Drinking โ€ฆ


Day 1 Sober

They told me to stop drinking
How dare they?
They donโ€™t control my thinking
Iโ€™ll do what I want

They canโ€™t tell me donโ€™t
Well they can try
But Iโ€™ll just try harder wonโ€™t I
Iโ€™ll prove to myself I can do this alone

Donโ€™t need handholding
Well except by the Witch called wine
And her friend Vicious Vodka
โ€˜Cos Iโ€™ll be fine
Wonโ€™t I?

Where are they taking me
These trusted friends of mine
Headed towards a cliff?
The end of the line?

Hang on this wasnโ€™t what I meant
I was just looking to forget my troubles and for a little (lot of) merriment

Perhaps itโ€™s time I changed my own mind
And searched out friends that are sober kind

Noone can tell you what to do
It has to come from you
Go sober and go against the grain
Itโ€™ll lessen the pain, blame, fear and shame

The darkness ainโ€™t all itโ€™s cracked up to be
Itโ€™s not romantic
Itโ€™s just misery!


Day 2 Sober. No desire to drink, perhaps an inkling but Iโ€™m not going to. My Alcohol Use Disorder score was 3 which works out โ€œMildโ€ but itโ€™s still AUD so obviously drinking is a bad idea for me. There is something else though, I just donโ€™t want to drink anymore. I want to commit to being a non drinker.

Me rejecting wine:
โ€œNo thanks I donโ€™t drinkโ€

Friends: โ€œOh really why? Just have oneโ€

Me: โ€œNo thanks, it doesnโ€™t suit me anymore, Iโ€™m just not bothered, Iโ€™d rather get โ€œdrunkโ€ on cake and enjoying my life than craving booze after a few glasses. โ€œ

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Saturday Wine Witch Misery

She says โ€œErm excuse me please
Itโ€™s Saturday night time for wine
Arenโ€™t you forgetting something?โ€

We donโ€™t do that anymore i say

WW: โ€œButโ€ฆโ€ฆitโ€™s the weekendโ€ฆ.and itโ€™s Saturdayโ€

Well Iโ€™m changing the channel
Itโ€™s been a week

WW: โ€œWell you wonโ€™t get any pleasure in alternatives you seek
And what about all the current worries on your mind
A bowl or 2 of choco hoops wonโ€™t be as kind
Whereas I have the cure all
Admit it
Donโ€™t I?
I soothe your brow when you want to cry!โ€

Well letโ€™s see now you also lie badly
Repeatedly it seems to me

WW: โ€œAre you sure
Do I?
At least I always make you feel better right?โ€

Well now that you mention it
You ruin it each time
And If when Iโ€™m mad I have a glass of wine
I feel much worse
The thing is WW Iโ€™m not the one thatโ€™s cursed
You are
Destined to bring misery to all near and far
And though some wine appeals at the moment and looks nice
Itโ€™s still a toxic, life destroying vice
I was sober 6 months
Iโ€™m gonna do that twice
Thatโ€™s my intention
So I might as well show you
I might as well mention
That I have the power to remove my attention
Whenever I agree with you
I always end up back here
Itโ€™s not worth my health and time
To waste it on wine
Just so weโ€™re clear
YOU ARENโ€™T WELCOME HERE!
Though at the moment youโ€™re shouting
And itโ€™s barely a whisper
I can still hear my heart voice saying
โ€œI want to be a non drinkerโ€


Day 4 Sober

I think my inner child threw a strop
Bought things I didnโ€™t need
Another huge coffee mug bought
Said it was necessity not greed
Another set of earphones
As my cat chewed through these
Thatโ€™s now the 5th set ruined
Would she stop doing that please
Iโ€™ve adulting to do
My sons birthday to plan
But my inner child wants more presents too, she demands
Iโ€™ve bought her AF tops, some coasters, magazines, earphones, another mug
It says โ€œcoffee is a big hugโ€
Some Mason jars, a wave ring
Books and more cups
I think for now that lotโ€™s kinda enough
But I just bought an exercise bike too
IC told me getting fit is the thing to do.
Time to put the brakes on
Reign her in a bit
I want a 4th cat
My husbandโ€™s losing his shit 
But heโ€™ll love it anyway
When he sees how cute it is
Even though
โ€ I donโ€™t want another catโ€
Is all I hear him say
I think Iโ€™m trying to fill the emptiness here
With everything, including the kitten?
My IC is trying to find her own happiness
Trashing my finances
Leaving a mess
But by the rescue bug
Iโ€™ve definitely been bitten

#Rescueisthebestbreed


Day 5 Sober

Ditched the voice last night
Belonging to the Witch of hate
The Wine pusher
Sheโ€™s a fright
Not a mate
And up close represents a horrific sight

โ€œYour future is right here my dear
Pour a large glass and sit down, come nearโ€
She continues โ€œ1 becomes 2, 3 and then 4
It wouldnโ€™t take long for you to start having more
Missed tv shows, missed conversations
A rotating lounge floor
Forget cleaning your teeth
You wonโ€™t see the stairs anymoreโ€

High functioning drinker
Sensitive thinker
Not waving but drowning here
In my constant glasses of wine or beer
Defending my high functioning label to the end
When the Wine Witch shows me finallyโ€ฆ..
She was never my friend

When you get sober
Itโ€™s first and formost for you
But believe me your loved ones will notice it too

Though theyโ€™ll be worried
Scared youโ€™ll lose ground
And might still be mistrustful
I bet theyโ€™re secretly proud

When they realise how hard youโ€™re working at it all
At how hard youโ€™re trying not to fall
Itโ€™ll probably take more time than you want it to
But eventually I think theyโ€™ll respect you again too

Hopefully, I mean nothing is guaranteed clearly
But getting sober you start to like yourself again really

When you see your loved ones through your newly sober eyes
Keep going
Eventually your loved ones might return your smile

And trust will be built up
All because you never gave up giving up
You are so strong
And eventually theyโ€™ll understand that you were all along

Sobriety starts with and for you
But it positively affects others wonderfully too


Day 6 Sober

Mondayโ€ฆ.Monday

My life isnโ€™t perfect
But Iโ€™m going to choose to be content
And alcohol has no place in it
Itโ€™s not worth it
For the โ€œmerrimentโ€

Donโ€™t want a course of health reduction, accidents and feeling crappy
Life can be hard enough
Without falling in that trap you see

Emails to answer
School place to seek
Covid anxiety high
Pressure already this week

From under my duvet
I donโ€™t wanna peek
News is depressing
Want some contentment
It soothes me, it sings

Want to find joy amidst the chaos of things
Seeking out the moments of love that they bring
Itโ€™d be easier to be overwhelmed and sink into a rut
With alcohol for company
Stuck in the mud

But if I did that Iโ€™d miss everything thatโ€™s good
Little miracles appear here and there
But stuck in booze muck
Weโ€™d just miss it I swear

Iโ€™ll give you an example
An animal rescue recently
Saw before and after pictures
A miracle really

Itโ€™s amazing what a lot of love and good food can do
Iโ€™m convinced angels without wings walk this earth
I think I know a few

If you look closely
And alter your perception
Either a 360ยฐ or just a fraction or two
Youโ€™ll find the good in each day
That booze doesnโ€™t want you to


Day 7 Sober

Sitting in the emptiness
The chaos, unhappiness, mess
Letting waves of emotion wash over us
In sobriety we try to trust
We deserve nothing less

Our will power alone struggling
We try something else
We must
Find a reason to give up at last
As booze could be taking us somewhere too fast

The game is rigged
But the die not yet cast
Hopefully
We get to decide which move we choose
We can work to either win or lose

It looks more fun in the Winners Circle of Sober
Than blacking out then a hellish hangover
When blocking things out becomes blacking out
Itโ€™s past time to kick alcohol out right!?


Coffee mug They told me to stop drinking

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