One Glass Away from Yuck

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On HSM there are some of us who are addicted and some who are simply taking a break.

I don’t entirely agree with the idea that alcohol is an addictive substance and therefore all who drink will eventually develop an addiction. I think that some people can and do drink moderately and even if they feel they’re overdoing it and decide to take a break they will eventually go back to moderate drinking.

When I was in my 20s 30s and 40s I would occasionally get really drunk. I threw up a few times. And had some wicked hang over’s but I never blacked out. During those years I often drank too much on a daily basis. I was always highly functional but heavy drinking at home, at night, was my routine.

But about two years ago something really changed in the way that my brain reacted to that first glass of wine.

One glass would become one bottle within an hour or so. Sucking it down like juice. And then before my body had even had the chance to register drunk I’d open another bottle.

The thing is I remember feeling the NEED for oblivion when I opened the second bottle. It was a weird feeling because the first glass had been purely a matter of routine, an end of the day reward for a job well done. But an hour later I would be hungrily drinking for oblivion.

I’m interested in the scientific research because I would love to understand how the whole addiction thing evolves in the brain. But I know in my soul that if I ever have a glass of wine again I will go right back to that place.


So I won’t. Cause I can’t.

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