Last night I felt lonely. It was Saturday night and I was home alone. Usually I don’t feel this way but from time to time I do. There’s a stigma attached to loneliness, at least as I perceive it. Loneliness is seen as unpleasant, a dis-ease. Loneliness is seen as something that should be cured with
I know from many years of experience, the feeling of being out on a Saturday night and then missing out on the next morning because I was too hung over and tired and wallowing in my disappointment and self-loathing and regret. I think there are people who had it a lot worse. I mean, I was never out of control with it, never hit “rock bottom”, but I saw the pattern of addictive behavior and alcoholism probably going back many many generations and at some point decided that it wasn’t worth it.
It becomes a lifestyle choice. I want to be there and fully present for life as much as possible.
It’s still early spring, but so far it has been mostly grey and rainy. This has begun to affect some people emotionally, so I’ve been told, and it has affected me as well. Some days and weeks are more challenging than others and that’s just the way life is. I’ve had some good moments this
I feel that I am slowly adjusting to the reality of the commitment I have made to myself to remain alcohol-free, and I have to say that it feels so right and good. I like myself a lot better. I have never been an out of control, hitting rock-bottom drinker. My friends are a little