I’ve been sober almost four and a half years. I don’t call myself alcoholic but for lack of a better word I used the term alcoholic in the title. I could say that I have “Alcohol Use Disorder” or AUD but those labels are both clinical and clumsy. I don’t identify as an addict either.
–Just a few days away now from 3.5 years alcohol free. A great big empowering freedom. It’s maybe more than a little ironic that I used to regard freedom as the freedom to do what I wanted, and want I wanted to do was get ‘buzzed’ as often as I could. About 20 years ago,
This time last year, when I posted an invitation in The FIX for Dry July, I got a bit of criticism in the comments that was worth thinking through. One of the comments on our Dry July articles suggested that it was irresponsible to cheerlead the idea of taking a month off drinking because stopping and
I imagine my fear as a huge dragon that takes many different forms. Health scares with my children, relationship problems, death, work stress, my underlying value. The dragon has a different label, but it’s the same. And I am trying now, as a completely sober person, to stare it right in the eyes. I don’t want to let it chase me off. I don’t want to keep running forever or hiding in the forest or looking over my shoulder. I want to be able to stand out on the edge of the canyon and see it all. I want to feel free and strong, not held back by fear.
“Sobriety” in and of itself sounds and feels so sparklingly pure. Free. Liberated. An enlightening achievement. Sobriety I’m keeping my body “clean” and “free” from the poisons of alcohol. But saying you’re sober feels like announcing you are pregnant and going to have a baby. It sounds so fresh, wholesome, pure and wonderful! Everyone celebrates and
