When I was deep into my years of drinking heavily most nights and regretting it most mornings, I developed a routine of carefully saying,
“I’m drinking because I WANT a drink. I don’t NEED a drink I WANT one”.
I was consciously saying WANT instead of NEED because if I NEEDED a drink I would have to admit to being addicted and that was entering dangerous territory. The brain-game I was playing is commonly called denial but I hate having terms like “in denial” thrown at me, so although I pretty much knew that I was in denial, I resisted mightily owning what that meant. It was an easy thing to resist owning because everyone I knew was happy to help.
How often have people who love you or even people who rely on you; your boss, spouse, parent, friend, child…
How often has one of those people told you that you NEED a drink?
You need a drink to relax you’ve had a hard day. You need a drink to numb you’ve suffered a tragedy. You need a drink to celebrate it’s a party. You need a drink to connect. You need a drink to lower your blood sugar. You need a drink for heart health. You need a drink!
Even when those people who love you, rely on you, care for you……
Even when they have seen you drunk and expressed concern they’ll still tell you, you NEED a drink now and then because it’s how we think. We’re conditioned to think that way.
Most of us have had our brains washed since we were little kids to think that adults NEED a drink and that drinking Empowers adults. Adults drink right?
We learn that adults drink unless they have a problem with alcohol.
Drinking WAS my problem. It solved NOTHING. It was my kryptonite. It was the RING to my inner Gollum.
The more I drank the more the addiction fed on me until I actually couldn’t function easily without drinking.
I said I WANTED to drink because I NEEDED to drink but it is possible to unlearn that.
Let’s condition each other in the other direction.
Let’s do a reverse brainwash.
This is why I do not WANT to drink anymore ……
I did NOT drink last night and as a result, I woke up clear-headed, with a quiet generous energy and absolutely NO self-doubt. Because I did not drink last night and have not drunk for well over three years I OWN my feelings, reactions, body, mind.
I do not WANT to drink today because I crawled out from under the rock of addiction and have found the sun shines gently on my face each day.
That is the reality that I chose.
I chose sobriety because drinking did NOT empower me.
How about you?
Do you need to drink? Do you want to drink? Or have you made it to the other side?
Lets talk about it-
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