In the online community that helped me stop drinking and stay sober, we often talked about changing our relationship with alcohol. At the time that didn’t seem odd to me, but now that I’m well past 4 years sober, the fact that I had a relationship with alcohol seems rather strange. But I did! I had a relationship with alcohol that ultimately threatened all of the other relationships in my life … until I stopped drinking and ditched my toxic, liquid lover.
How about you? Does your Relationship with alcohol resemble this?
Drinking is this seemingly innocuous guy who sits down by my side on vacation or out to dinner and whispers in my ear
“See, look at them. They drink way more than you do and they get to drink. You’re so dramatic, such a buzzkill. You think you’re so important. You think you really have a problem. You don’t have a problem. Just relax already and have a drink.”
And I look around that restaurant and I start to believe him. Then a week later I tell myself I won’t drink that day and eventually I do.
He comes to me and then oh so gently holds my face one inch from the surface of the water. He doesn’t shove me way down into a rock bottom, but just enough for me to not get air. It’s time for that to stop” …. continued Clarity
Or is your relationship with alcohol a somewhat hotter affair
Alcohol for me is a raging forest fire. If I drink again that fire may start slowly, it may begin to burn in a straight line that looks like it will follow a predictable path, but inevitably, it will become an all-consuming frenzy that destroys everything.
So I chose to stay alcohol-free. I chose not to have that one glass of champagne to celebrate, or that one glass of wine to relax, or that one gin and tonic on a hot day.
I take a drink
The drink takes a drink
The drink takes Me
…. continued A Burning Desire
Either way, if you find the Drinking is Bringing you more Fear than Joy
Maybe it’s Time for a Divorce ?
It is not unusual to feel like you’re leaving an abusive relationship when you stop drinking.
It was the fear of the massive change. Fear of the fallout. It was fear of putting myself and my needs first. Fear of being wrong. Fear of life as a single parent. Of having no identity. Fear of living sober and being labeled an alcoholic. I was scared of facing failure. I couldn’t believe that was me. I felt like an idiot for getting myself into that position in the first place. With my alcohol abuse, as with my marriage, I was tied to my abuser by fear…. continued below
Many of us are quite literally afraid to let go of the toxic partnership with alcohol.
The initial fears from before I stopped drinking, were cautiously replaced with curiosity… what can life be like without having a glass in hand? Will my relationships with my grown children improve? Will my work performance be better? Will I be quietly happier about me? Sober?
Sober days strung into weeks, and weeks into months. One year later, my sober sneakers are still double-knotted.
Life is not perfect, but alcohol is no longer part of mine. I stopped drinking! I had moments where peer pressure to have, “just one and done”, popped into my head. One time, my husband was pouring a drink and suggested, “Want one?” I answered honestly: “Do I want one? Yes. Will I HAVE one? NO. My drinking days are over.”
Life is bigger than a liquid that is officially considered a poison. Being SOBER is a gift, for the present. … continued below
Together we find the Courage to Live in a New Way – Alcohol Free !
We have to get vulnerable in order to get to the truth, the real heart of the matter. To understand why we drank so much. To heal and get better. Sometimes we might think, what’s the point in opening up – it will just make me feel sad and won’t fix the problem. Fair point, but more often I find, by opening up, the solutions come easier, or that I become ok with the fact there may not be a solution today, and also sometimes just by talking about something, it loses it’s anxiety causing power over you and allows you to move away from the negative self-talk. So be vulnerable I say. We each have one go at this life and we may as well just go for it, warts and all…. continued below
Community is the Cure
This changing your habit of drinking alcohol and adapting your life takes time. This is a hard thing some of us are doing but the positives are worth every negative. And I never get over how lovely it is that we’ve all ‘met’ on a wonderful site like this.
So many of us – and more and more joining every day.
Alcohol huh? Society pushes it towards us as a perfectly acceptable drink. You’re seen as odd by some if you don’t drink it. Then when you find the drug alcohol causes you problems you feel ashamed. But you come on here and realise you shouldn’t feel shame.
There are too many of us being affected negatively by alcohol. Now that we are being ‘open’ with each other we can see that alcohol is causing pain and disruption for so many. If it was introduced now it would probably be classed as the drug it really is.
And times are changing. People’s eyes slowly opening to the truth. There are so many articles, magazines and newspapers discussing the negatives of alcohol nowadays.
For everyone on here – well our eyes are already open. They were the moment you pushed the ‘join button’ on the BOOM site. We are questioning where alcohol fits into our lives. We can be very proud about that.
In talking together on the site and in the giving of support to each other we can help each other get to where we want to be…. continued below
If You’re Drinking Too Much Too Often Talk to us
Private, anonymous, independant and away from the distracting commercial noise of social media
You can read more about us Here
And join Here
It’s never too late.
Open a Book, open a browser, open your mind. The keys are out there.