I am Dead

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Yup……..You read that right……….

You see….Once I was a man who thought he knew everything. I knew who I was, where I was going and what I was going to do next. I sailed down the road of life with my constant companion…BOOZE…..

Together we had allot of good times and actually accomplished allot of great things together. We saw success and failure, happy and sad, gain and loss. But as the years went by, I began to realize that my constant companion, my friend, me amigo, was getting bigger. Not only was he getting bigger, he was getting stronger.

He was starting to say things like… “You don’t need to try that hard” ….. Or….. “AWW don’t worry about it, we can do that tomorrow!”….”Just hang out here with me..We don’t need friends…..”WE don’t need anyone else”

If I would make an effort to escape him, I was not strong enough to run….He would always catch me and stuff me back down in the warm pillows of his toxic friendship. I was beginning to get numb to all the things that really mattered to me and all the people I cared about. The passions that I enjoyed took a back burner to my relationship with my bubbly friend…. I could not get away.

There was only one thing to do….I had to die…..

When I say die, I mean that I had to be reborn….I had to shed the veneer of what I had become and be my own true self again. I had to destroy the person that my old companion BOOZE had helped to create. I had to die to all the weaknesses that I had succumbed to. I had to die to all of the disappointments and regrets that my companion and I had created.

I had to die as his partner, so I could live.

Once I was reborn back into my true self it was astonishing how small my old companion had become….He was tiny and week. He was no longer able to influence my actions at all…How could this tiny, shivering little monster have had so much control over me?….

It was then that that I realized…. When I was under his warm, deceptive spell, he had not become stronger and bigger…

I had shriveled up….

I was weak and pathetic in his shadow……

So you see…..I had to die to all that……I had to rediscover the person I truly am…………..And I did….I now feel like a tower of life and light…..I have regained my heart and sight…..I’m lighter than air…Just like a ghost…………I intend to shine my light where ever I can…………God bless all of you and yours…

CASPER


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