I have invented a new liquid wonder drug.
I promise you that the first glass will make you feel great. It will help take away your inhibitions and reduce shyness allowing you to act in a way that you might not usually, — enabling you to say things you wouldn’t normally dream of.
The next glass will take away your fears and give you courage – reducing your ability to detect dangerous situations and more importantly – decrease your fear of having another glass.
It has the brilliant effect of eventually blocking the normal signals from your brain, so that they don’t function as they should. A bit like driving your car on a motorway in fog without your headlights whilst all the controls jam.
If taken correctly my wonder drug will take away your natural instincts, ability to listen or take in conversations, deaden your senses and help you to become inarticulate or in some cases unconscious.
And that’s not all. I am proud to say that even after the wonder drug has not been consumed for hours the after effects are phenomenal.
You can experience memory loss, anxiety, depression, self loathing, heart palpitations, sweats and a wonderful feeling that the weight of the world is on your shoulders.
If used regularly enough –and in the correct quantities– it can truly help destroy your mental and physical wellbeing.
Added bonuses are endless. It can help to affect your ability to do your job, destroy your relationships with other people and generally create chaos in your life. Small problems will seem like disasters and molehills like mountains.
Unfortunately my new wonder drug tastes disgusting. But I have managed to disguise this with various flavours ranging from sweet to bitter.
I thought the sweet taste would particularly appeal to young vulnerable teenage children. Because I don’t want them missing out on this miracle.
Unfortunately I still need to get a licence before I can market it. But I’m hoping to get that soon.
After all —- who is not going to be excited and grateful for such a modern miracle product with all the benefits it can bring to society.
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