Day 28 here sober. Yesterday I had to treat myself like a kid. I freaked out. I freaked out at about 6 pm. I got this feeling that the walls were closing in on me after an online meeting with my therapist in which I could visibly see the strain and stress on her face. I got this very restricted feeling and for the first time in about two weeks I thought of a drink.
I posted on my online community and put on my running shoes and I bolted. I ran for a good long while.
I came home, had a cry about the COVID19 thing then called my sister and we laughed our heads off talking. She is the only one in the world who can me laugh like that. I then cooked for myself and when I found myself eating powder cookie mix out of the bag with a spoon I said ok bed time with you.
I literally put myself to bed like I would one of my kids. I read an adventure book meant for kids even, it is similar to White Fang, but what can I say? I really like those kinds of books. I thought… tomorrow is a new day now go to bed.
So here I am a new day.
I had this thought the other day when I was coming home from my run, as I saw all of the people walking around solitary. Loneliness and human disconnection really does feel like the weight of the world.
So what makes this bearable?
What can help this situation?
For me that’s connection. We need people. We need each other. Humans need connection… it’s like air. So I need to prioritize human connection.
I may not be able to hug my friends or even see them in person, but there’s a telephone and I need to get better at asking for help. Asking and reaching out. Hey I am feeling cabin fever… are you? How are you dealing? How are you coping? Can we please talk on the phone? Can we go for a far distance walk?
This for me is how to survive and it’s going to be the same for my kids. I know them.
Anyway, all of this is making me realize how much we need each other. People need each other so much and that’s ok. I need to get better at being vulnerable and realizing that’s ok to need my friends and family. We are not meant to be alone in a house for hours on end. We need to get creative. It’s the life blood that’s needed to pull through this hard time.
Booze is not the friend. So how will I ask for and reach for and give connection today? Staying sober with you.
We are an independent, anonymous and private community who share resources, support and talk it through every day. It helps to have a community behind you in a world where alcohol is the only addictive drug that people will question you for NOT using
How do you go Sober? ( more reading in blue titles)
B Be accountable Talk to Us We Understand
A Avoid alcohol like the plague Ideas Here
L Let yourself enjoy regular sober treats Ideas Here
A Allow yourself to cry when needed Ideas Here
N Nourish your body with good food Ideas Here
C Create happy & fun memories Ideas Here
E Enjoy the precious moments in your day Ideas Here
W Work hard to get what you want Ideas Here
O Organise things for less stress Ideas Here
R Realise you can’t control it all Ideas Here
K Keep going & prepare for success Ideas Here
S Sleep enough for body & mind rest Sleep Solutions