I drank to make myself invulnerable. At least I thought that alcohol would make me invulnerable. Each time I opened a bottle it was my intent to build a barrier between myself and stress, sorrow, loneliness, even the mundane blah that is sometimes day to day life. But the effect of alcohol was actually the
A post in our online community about the keys to sobriety got me thinking about courage. I wrote something about courage as a key to being sober in my comment and then stumbled across this in Haruki Murakami’s book, The Wind-up Bird Chronicle : “Curiosity can bring guts out of hiding at times, maybe even
When I drank I didn’t know why. I didn’t like who I became when I drank. I didn’t like how I felt after I drank. I didn’t like how I drank once I started. I could go for a month sober maybe and then when I drank I drank daily. So I could go for
The balance of light and dark in me has shifted, but they remain in un-equal measures due to my efforts to eradicate the dark.
The true need is, therefore, to draw those aspects of myself together and search to establish equilibrium.