I had a friend who I thought was funny, quirky and troublesome. She was troublesome, but I thought that together we were so much fun that everyone would forgive us for the scrapes we got into. I used to really like hanging out with her but things turned. Meeting up with her started to drain
I read Marc Lewis’ book Biology of Desire when I was 8 months sober. It was the last of many books that I read that year on the topic of addiction and recovery. The interesting thing about Marc’s book was that unlike the other books I read it did not inspire me to stay sober
I’ve been sober almost four and a half years. I don’t call myself alcoholic but for lack of a better word I used the term alcoholic in the title. I could say that I have “Alcohol Use Disorder” or AUD but those labels are both clinical and clumsy. I don’t identify as an addict either.
–Just a few days away now from 3.5 years alcohol free. A great big empowering freedom. It’s maybe more than a little ironic that I used to regard freedom as the freedom to do what I wanted, and want I wanted to do was get ‘buzzed’ as often as I could. About 20 years ago,
I took the morsel and placed it in my mouth. In one small bite I was whisked away to another place and time. Memories flooded in awakening sensations long since lost. Images danced in my mind and history’s song played in my ears. The fudge was perfect. My mother could have made it, I was certain. Joy blossomed in me for a short time. This was a gift. “I’ll have some of that”, I said.
I will not drink today because alcohol could never accomplish what that fudge did.
Will you join me?