About the malaise phase, or as it can be more succinctly described , “Meh.” When I first got sober with AA, I took an air balloon ride above EVERYTHING. I was suddenly FREE of daily drinking, over-drinking, hating myself, waking every morning staring into the Face of Regret, breaking daily promises to myself, degrading absolutely
Tag: Staying Sober
There is a bottle of Bourbon in my freezer which I should have poured out when I started my Alcohol- Free journey . I pulled it out of the freezer the other day, pulled off the cap, held it to my nose, and took a deep breath . Yep, smells like Bourbon, all right. Other than that … nothing. No desire to have a drink, no desire to numb myself, no desire to start down that path again. I put the bottle back in the freezer and said, “I’m not afraid of you anymore.” My little sober car has some momentum, indeed. Or. to use a different metaphor, my little sobriety rocket is gaining altitude. I have not escaped the unrelenting pull of gravity, maybe I never will, but I can see the vastness of space and billions of stars above me, beckoning to me. I can feel myself growing lighter.
What I failed to understand was that we are the arbiters of our own fate. There may be many mitigating factors such as our personal history and our body chemistry, but we have minds, we have choice, whether we choose to pick up a drink or not is down to us. As human beings, we can overcome anything, if we have a mind to.
“I survived because the fire within me burned brighter than the fire around me.” It really started for me last summer. I was reading a book called “The Miracle Morning.” TMM is all about starting your day with certain exercises (mental and physical) that will shape your day and, by extension, change your habits and
Bad days, arguments, breakups, job losses, illness, death. These things happen. I remember after a particularly bad day, that could have been career changing, a friend of mine said ‘drinking won’t help’. I took no notice and dealt with the fallout with the world’s worst hangover. I now see that she was right. Shit happens. Alcohol causes stress, depression and anxiety. The easiest way to deal with shit is with a clear head and an open mind and a willing heart.