One of the craziest things about being sober is being caught in some sort of time-space continuum.The first few sober days are horrible. I can still remember that feeling of clinging onto the edge of a cliff by my very short fingernails: the awful cravings and the sleeplessness. The sleeplessness was the pits. For me,
When I was pregnant I did not drink a drop but I did continue to smoke a bit. I had learned that alcohol could hinder brain developemnet in utero and there was no way I would take the chance of getting my babies drunk. I managed however, to talk myself into believing that three cigarettes
I imagine my fear as a huge dragon that takes many different forms. Health scares with my children, relationship problems, death, work stress, my underlying value. The dragon has a different label, but it’s the same. And I am trying now, as a completely sober person, to stare it right in the eyes. I don’t want to let it chase me off. I don’t want to keep running forever or hiding in the forest or looking over my shoulder. I want to be able to stand out on the edge of the canyon and see it all. I want to feel free and strong, not held back by fear.
Nice to meet you; My name is ‘Al’, You ask me ‘What’s your aim?’. I am your very best friend, just listen, I’ll explain. I can make you feel good, take away your doubt, your fear, your pain. You can be free, One of us, the In Crowd, the ones who know what there is
Tinkering around the edges of being sober is a very dangerous game to play. Give yourself a reason to drink, and you probably will