I’ve never been to AA but awhile back I read chunks of the Big Book on my own to check out the content. I remember reading about The Gift of Desperation and I didn’t really understand it.
To feel so powerless and defeated?
That’s not how I wanted to go about sobriety.
But now that I have chosen sobriety in my heart, although still not going down the AA route, this idea about the gift of desperation is making more sense.
Especially the word gift tied next to it. It’s a gift to be humble regardless of whether or not we see ourselves as powerless over something or not.
It doesn’t make us weak, it makes us real and true and accountable.
It’s ok to not accept you’re not ok, in fact it really is a gift.
In Clare Pooley’s book, The Sober Diaries, she talks about how at a certain point in her sobriety she dug out a picture of herself at age 10. She looked closely at this girl in the photo and said out loud (paraphrasing)…
Do I want this girl to drink anymore?
Do I want her to nurse hangovers full of shame and regret?
Do I want her hate herself?
How can I take care of her now?
What can I do today, to honour her hopes and dreams?
This to me this is one example of the powerful gift of desperation. To feel so far away from the person in the picture but you of course, couldn’t be geographically closer.
We all have that chance now. To take care of that 10-year-old girl or boy in us. Things go wrong in life and we can’t always protect that small person, but there is ALWAYS time to change the narrative.
Make that 10 year old self of yours proud. 👊Xx
This post was shared anonymously from a member of the BOOM Community Rethink the Drink
More from Clare Pooly on Making Sober Less Shameful :
” When you become addicted to Smoking, they blame the NICOTINE. When you become addicted to Alcohol they blame YOU. Alcohol is the only drug you have to justify NOT taking.”
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