The first hurdle I faced to Stop Drinking was overcoming denial.
I knew I needed to stop drinking but did not want to call myself an alcoholic.
My drinking was becoming increasingly problematic and I needed to change my behavior. In desperation I opened the Alcoholics Anonymous website and began to read. The AA Big Book repeatedly told me that based on my behavior, I was indeed an alcoholic and I was in denial. It said I needed to solve the denial and start recovery by accepting the label “Alcoholic.” Accepting that label included accepting all of the personality traits that AA said were part of it.
I had always assumed that if I ever found myself addicted to alcohol, recovery would begin in a certain way. I assumed it would start by my standing in front of an assembly of alcoholics. I imagined introducing myself by saying that I too was an alcoholic. But the more I read, the more I realized this was not a path I wanted to take. I found myself resistant to the condescending tone of books that were based on AA principles of recovery. Imagining entering the culture of AA made me feel every bit as trapped as I was by my addiction.
I didn’t understand it at the time but what I was looking for in reading about AA was simply commonality. I was looking for a community where I felt safe sharing my story with others who would be supportive because our stories were similar. I was looking for a non-judgmental space to grow away from the denial that kept me trapped in self destruction, toward an empowered version of myself.
Overcoming denial through sharing your story
Breaking out of denial is not a simple thing that happens quickly in a moment when you stand and say “I am an alcoholic”. Breaking out of denial is a process that evolves slowly through honest self-evaluation. For me and other members of my online community Boom Rethink the Drink , that honest self evaluation happens as we tell our stories to each other every day.
Keeping my drinking problem hidden, secret, made it even easier to deny. I wasn’t just lying to others about how dangerous my drinking had become, I was lying to myself….when I was finally able to face the truth, the booze beast was no longer able to control me.
The Best Way to Get Over Denial When You Want to Stop Drinking Is to Talk to Others Who Share Your Story
Does these stories sound familiar?
I drank because I was lonely, bored, sad and stressed. Thought alcohol would ease my stress of never being “enough”. Thought it would help ease intense grief after losing my mother, who helped me through all my other grief. I see now, it only pushed everything back and made everything harder. … From the author of Gray Area Drinking- The Truth About How Alcohol Damages Your Brain
I drank to handle my stress. To handle social situations and be more relaxed. To hide. To forget. To feel “good.” But I am a binge drinker. So I always always have too much. And I didn’t even notice it in my twenties or even thirties because I didn’t drink all the time so who cares if I drank too much when out or at a friend’s house or during the holiday celebrations? But. In my forties and fifties, it crept up to daily drinking to cope with being older and dealing with so much still ; including work, home, grown-up kids, helping them and their kids, having them move back in and out, and helping with my oldest daughter’s two autistic children. It’s all too much and I thought I needed that wine every day. And I of course never had a glass. A good binge drinker must have at least three or four. Or more. And now I don’t drink. And I’m glad and I will not drink today. … From the author of The Reality of Living Sober
Find thoughts on denial from all of our members inside our private BOOM Rethink the Drink Community at this link – Denial – Humility – Empowerment or on our public Boozemusings blog here Letting go of Denial – Stop Drinking and Stay Sober on Your Terms
Come Join Our Community and share your story too. Annonymous, private, supportive. Boom Rethink the Drink