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“Alone” at dinner
The hubs & I went out last night for dinner with our closest “couple” friends. The wife is one of my besties & between the 4 of us, we’ve left a long trail littered with empty bottles. But they’ve known about my 100-Day AF Challenge and have been supportive in a general, “good for you” sort of way.
We haven’t seen each other for quite a bit, growing kids, busy lives and all that. So last evening was a real treat to spend time together. The hubs & I offered to drive, since we hadn’t shown off the new family car, and because he knows I’m in brand-new-toy-happy, I hopped in the driver seat when normally hubsy drives.
Dinner was delish and I had no problems ordering my sparkling water while the others ordered a drink. Great conversation & more drinks were ordered. No problem. Special night out with friends, of course the “normal” drinkers will have more than one drink… But when the 3rd and then 4th were ordered, I started to feel (1) uncomfortable and (2) mildly irritated.
I asked for decaf coffee – partially as a end-cap to my meal, but also as a bit of a distraction from feeling uncomfortable. There was some twinge of jealousy that they were having pretty, special beverages. Wolfie was in the back of my mind poking me: “Just have one. Why not?” Fortunately I’ve spent enough days drying Wolfie out that its voice isn’t very strong!
The irritation was another matter. Thoughts included:
The hubs – WTH? I thought you were cutting back? I love you, but you are starting to sound stupid the more you drink. Ugh.
The group – So you’ve got a designated driver – you’re all going to get loaded? Gee thanks!
Me – What a hypocrite! You would be right there with them if you weren’t living this beautiful AF life! You told everyone you had “no problem” going out & not drinking – that doesn’t mean they have to stop… Ugh.
Essentially, it was a new experience for me. I had to put my money where my mouth is & actually go out to a bar/restaurant, enjoy the occasion with everyone else and do so without booze. Up to this point, my social interactions hadn’t tested this scenario. I’m going to call it a success. I recognize the feelings – now I know what to expect, and probably next time it will be easier, less irritable. I just know this – I got up this morning with no regrets!
If you’re drinking too much too often and want to stop or slow down, come talk to us.
Alcohol is the only drug that people question you for NOT using but you don’t HAVE to drink. Don’t stay trapped because the stigma of not drinking seems worse than the cost of drinking too much.
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