When You Don’t Want to Drink, Business Trips, Boozy Work events, and Cocktail Parties for Networking, are a Unique Challenge.
I travel quite a bit on business. Since I quit drinking, dealing with airports, airplanes, and coworker social gatherings fueled by booze, was hard at first. Advance planning and even rehearsals were the keys that worked for me. I have gone into a bathroom stall at the airport to hide and quietly mutter, “club Soda, please,” just to be sure my favorite alcoholic drink name didn’t slip out the moment I stepped up to the bar.
A Sober Flight will start your Business trip off right!
When the airline’s magazine is full of sexy adds for everything you used to love to drink, it can be hard to remember why you quit drinking! I have never seen more “alcohol equals power and success” messaging than in those “long haul flight” magazine ads. At the rear of the plane, you’ll most likely be sitting arm to arm with someone lifting a drink that smells of alcohol. If you’re in first class you’ll have plenty of space to breath but the champagne will flow freely.
So HOW do you stay sober on these fights?
Just keep running the tape in your head of what you’re going to order. Don’t revisit that decision. You are not drinking alcohol. Non-negotiable. Don’t let habit, boredom, or FOMO break your sober momentum.
Find a non-drinking buddy among your colleagues to have your back at every work event.
I did this on my first business trip. That way, I knew if something or someone overrode my resolve to not drink, my coworker promised to swoop in and pull me away from the danger zone.
Never be afraid to ask for a little help from a trusted friend. Fear of the stigma associated with choosing not to drink is something that keeps far too many people from going alcohol-free, even when they know that they want to and need to. Break the status quo!
You CAN do this !!
Tips and Tools to Tackle the Airport, Hotel, Networking Meetings, and FOMO – Gracefully Alcohol-Free
1. Maneuvering the Airport Alcohol-Free
Obviously, start by staying out of the airport bar. Go to the bookstore and magazine stand and buy the paperback that calls out to you, or pick up a celebrity magazine and look at photos of buff celebs. Grab a Woman’s Health and start planning your next marathon.
Not drinking in the airport will make your plane trip pass more smoothly. You will not have to constantly get up and pee after sitting in the airport bar, downing gin and tonics. You will not be as dehydrated from the airplane when you get to your destination. You will arrive oh so much more alert, and your irritation at the overall dehumanizing effect of the airport security experience will dissipate more quickly.
2. If you can live on an expense account, order room service.
Do NOT go into the hotel bar and see all those sad sacks drinking their way through dinner. If passing through the hotel bar is an inevitable part of leaving the safe haven of your room, get outside and go for a walk. Listen to a podcast (I still love Since Right Now – a badass and hilarious podcast on sober living) and breathe. Then grab some food wherever you must. And drink soda water and breathe! ( more podcasts here)
3. How to Survive those stupid networking sessions with Alcohol – Alcohol-Free – Gracefully !
This is by far the hardest part but You Can Do This!
The first time you take down an alcohol-fueled networking session, alcohol-free, it is an exercise in survival. It will be easier next time. And the time after that will be smooth as silk without your even wishing you could drown out the dull with booze!
But to begin with –
You do this first session in fifteen-minute increments. You just need to get through it.
IMPORTANT! Brush your teeth before you go. It really helps –
In the first fifteen minutes, you walk in with your minty fresh breath and smile at the bartender, telling her you’re not drinking tonight, and order a soda and cranberry or a tonic with lime.
Then you find one person in the room and ask them how they are doing and listen to their answer. You’ve now just nailed the first fifteen minutes.
Now, proceed to the next fifteen minutes and the next person. Tell them one good thing that is going on relevant to work and ask if they have had a similar experience. – second fifteen minutes DONE
The third fifteen minutes. Cruise the room and see if someone else is not drinking. If so, walk over to them and ask them how they are enjoying the event, and point out one thing you notice in the room – this can be totally random – seriously, this is just to micro-map it out for yourself.
Fourth fifteen-minute increment – go refill that soft drink and find the person in the room who is wearing a piece of clothing you like. If you know them, ask them something relevant about work. If you work with them but don’t know them, ask them where they got their rockin’ piece of clothing and commiserate about shopping – women can do this across cultures. Then ask them what they do and tell them what you do.
You are now on your last fifteen minutes – go to the most powerful person in the room – likely the one who is responsible for you being there – and look that person straight in the eye and smile at her or him with your minty breath. Say that this has been a great evening, but you are training for a marathon and need to be up at 4:45 am and need to get going.
Then flee!
Get back to your room and take a lovely scented bath. Brush your teeth and lounge in your awesome hotel bed and high-five the crap out of yourself.
It worked for me. 😉 I hope it works for you.
Let me know how it goes BOOM Rethink the Drink
But What about the Fear of Missing Out ? or FOMO
I rarely get triggered now, but when I do, it’s usually when I feel ‘left out.’
For example, When the focus of the ‘do’ I’m at is solely on drinking alcohol.
But it’s not the alcohol I really want, it’s the camaraderie that seems to happen between drinkers when they drink, if that makes sense.
But I know it’s a false vision.
You don’t see the same people when they awaken at 3 am with dry mouth, anxiety, fear, and self-loathing of what you may have said or done.
So I shrug off these triggers and see them for what they are: false promises.
I had a huge trigger earlier this year in a restaurant as I looked around the room and saw everyone drinking alcohol.
I realised that I would never have that ‘boost’ to enjoyment that everyone else has at the swig of a glass.
That change in brain patterns that a drug can give you.
The change of mood that alcohol can bring in an instant.
And for a moment, I was sad about that.
So what I was really missing was the change of brain patternthat the drug alcohol brings.
Because the truth is – that’s what I drank it for……..
But I was simply hungry and a little grumpy. And so I ate my meal, and I had the most gorgeous pudding/sweet to end my meal. ( more thoughts on Filling the Empty space or HALT – Alcohol Free)
And I was fine again, and the trigger hadn’t killed me.
I know now that you can change your own mood by shifting your stance, smiling, telling yourself you’re ok, and focusing on something good, feeling good about what you’re doing.
Or you can just accept that on this occasion, you can’t change your mood and remove yourself from the situation.
What I’m trying to say is that I accept that whenever I’m triggered, it’s the change in mood I’m looking for and rejoice in the fact that I have self-taught myself to change my mood or accept it for what it is without a drug.
Tools for your Trip :
An Open Letter to my Drinking Colleagues, With Love
Delusions of Missing Out – To Drink or Not to Drink
Books to Help you Stop Drinking and Fuel Your Sober Momentum
More Articles to Inspire and Inform
Shake off the Myths of Everything Alcohol Can Do For You – Be a Unicorn!
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