Sometimes we need a gentle nudge to remind ourselves that the path towards sobriety is uniquely ours, like our fingerprints. With ridges, whorls, and loops, your fingerprints are unique to you and can’t be duplicated by me. And whilst you may try to imitate my fingerprints, they are mine alone and not for sale. To ask, “what’s your secret to sobriety?” is natural. Maybe my responses can help you find your way out, but the reality is that, maybe my advice will fall on deaf ears.  And do you know what?  That is okay, too. 

Getting from here to there, or there to here…. well, that’s your way out.  As much as we want to cheer for each other along this journey, we are all going to fall down at some point…. and maybe when you fall, it’s down back into the bottle, but maybe it’s not.  Maybe it’s just a crying meltdown, in the shower.  Maybe it’s just feelings of anger that lead to an extra mile added to your morning run. Maybe, just maybe, you can catch yourself before the can of beer is popped open.  

But.  If for some reason, your brain cons yourself into thinking that “one beer is going to be OK”, and the next day, you think…

WTF did I do THAT FOR?

Well, let’s talk that one through.

KNOW THAT IT’S OK NOT TO KNOW.  YOU WILL FIND YOUR WAY OUT.

This is YOUR WAY OUT.  When you almost fall, but catch yourself in time, think about HOW you protected yourself.  Learn from that lesson, which is just as important as if you do fall.  Either way, the most important thing is to get back up.  Dust off your knees, shake your head, but get back up. Learn from the time, and find your way to protect yourself from the next temptation.  Yes, there will be another moment of temptation, but your job is to find your way to protect yourself again. That is the secret to sobriety.

And please, PLEASE, if your child made a mistake, and was remorseful and regretful and apologized for his or her transgression, would you forgive the mini-version of you?  Chances are, you are thinking “yes”.  May I kindly suggest that you forgive yourself too?  Life happens.  Dogs Bark.  People mess up, including you and me.  

Forgive yourself, and then be sincere in your words, with those that love you.  

It’s time to be kind to ourselves, in a gentle but stern way…. kind of like Mr. Miyagi from Karate Kid, the wise mentor to a well-intentioned but lost child.  

“A man who can catch a fly with a chopstick can accomplish anything.”

– Mr. Miyagi

What is the secret to sobriety? Learning from our mistakes, picking ourselves up and dusting ourselves off when we stumble, and forgiving ourselves. We need to be our own best friends, because whilst we don’t understand the complete path, we do know that life without alcohol is a much happier, healthier, and peaceful path.  Boom! is here to support us all, and we can grow and bloom together, like beautiful flowers on a blooming tree. 

More by this author :

Respect Your Frog – A Sobriety Fable

Once Upon a Sunday Night

How I Stopped Drinking – Calling Out the Truth of What Alcohol Was to Me

Beyond the Bottle – Loving Living Without Alcohol

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