How does it feel to be one year sober? It hasn’t been easy getting here. I’ve found this first year without using alcohol as a buffer, draining at times. It’s been an emotional rollercoaster. When I was drinking, I didn’t realize that it was the alcohol that isolated and diminished me, leaving me with a deep sense of shame. But now, at this milestone I thought I’d never reach, I am no longer clinging on. I am looking back now and realizing that keeping this momentum going has been about realizing that life can be different; it can open up again, and you can experience undiluted happiness, however fleeting, naturally. I am standing tall and say with pride I don’t drink.
I recently visited Paris, wondering if it would be challenging with the culture of wine with almost every meal. Honestly, it was a little strange at first but then I realized the ridiculousness of thinking I could be missing out. Every morning I bounced out of bed, totally refreshed, and my partner and I explored this amazing place. I loved people-watching and enjoying the style and quirkiness. I was delighted to be greeted by many residents who thought I was French! As a sober person, I sometimes feel like a square peg in a round hole, but even in Paris, I did not need the wine to fit in!
I did not just decide to stop drinking one day, and then everything flowed along easily. I once gave up alcohol for 5 months. As a gray area drinker, I knew which way things were going, and it was time to stop. Every day, I put in the work (or so I thought), but it didn’t last. I eventually talked myself into trying once again to moderate my drinking, but it just didn’t work. Three years later, I tried going alcohol-free again, and today I am celebrating one year sober!
I finally get off the hamster wheel of drink-drunk-regret by understanding the philosophy of ODAAT. I could never quite get my head around it before. I promise it is absolutely NOT rocket science. I find it very freeing.
I begin every day and say to myself, “I will not drink alcohol today, just today.” It seems to take the pressure off and keeps me in the moment. I can’t manage otherwise. I suppose it’s a form of mindfulness, something I was always skeptical of (more fool me 😂). There are some brilliant resources on ODAAT from Boozemusings. I would recommend reading. Here and Here. It may be the way forward for you too.
I check in with my community, BOOM at least twice daily, sometimes more. Boom is a lifeline. I always felt my posts were dull and boring, but despite that, I took the time to do it. Tell yourself, I will not drink alcohol today. Today becomes tomorrow, and momentum grows. You cheer for your fellow Boomers and delight in their achievements, ask questions, and seek reassurance daily, and you then become determined not to throw all of the hard work away. Make no mistake, it is hard, but anything of worth is. Boom was a lifesaver and still is.
I genuinely didn’t think I would reach one year sober. There are times when I have been so conflicted and exhausted by thoughts of alcohol that I have literally dragged myself through the day. I know how early I am in the process of living life alcohol-free, and my body and brain are going through big changes. But staying alcohol-free is, without a doubt, the very best thing I could have done and will continue to do.
Here are my tips and tools for those first days and weeks alcohol-free
The only thing that got me through was, one day at a time. Saying that, I did set short term goals and marked them in a TRY DRY app.
Read, read, read , listen to podcasts every day and sleep. Go to bed early and without guilt. Eat earlier in the evening and enjoy popcorn and hot chocolate.
Walking daily outside was a massive boost, often I literally dragged myself outside, but always felt better for it.
Keeping reasonably positive and keeping hold of the fact that things WILL get better. Some days you just have to white knuckle it and that’s ok.
Trust the long term sober members of your community who all agree that the work is worth it! Reach out for advice. They give it generously and with love
Accept that it will be tough, your emotions will be all over the place but try to keep sight of the North Star, freedom from alcohol. Take every minute, hour, day one step at a time. Keep telling yourself you are incredible for having the courage to make a new path for yourself.
Read, read, read ….. Post , read again.
Try to break the ritual of drinking habits with something completely different. (People on Boom have wonderful ideas). Accept this will take time. I tried and failed after 145 days and felt deep shame. I didn’t get back on boom which was a huge mistake.
Finally, in order to get over it you have to go through it !!!
I do believe that will power does have a part to play. At the beginning the withdrawals can be so overwhelming that sometimes you have nothing left to fight with. That’s when I drew on will power. I know I am 100 percent committed to staying sober, and finally I fully understand that only I can make choices about my behavior. I alone am responsible for my actions. When things are looking bleak and you are almost hitting a wall. Stop, turn around and sit for a while. Such feelings don’t last forever.
Oh and popcorn
Even though I am one year sober I know that here is so much work still to do and I absolutely intend to do it. I’ll still be here in BOOM every day. I have so much more to learn, read about and reflect on. The work for me is about interacting every day with a supportive community who understands and, developing the ability to look back without shame. It’s about knowing that the old you wasn’t a lush, a waste of space, or a failure, but someone who needed to heal and be heard. Healing is about having the pride of knowing that we are giving it everything we have, to be the very best version of our perfectly imperfect selves. I could not have come this far without it. Here’s to today , our community and doing our best one day at a time. This community has changed my life.
Come join the conversation and Be Free!
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