There is a quote that is shared often in online sober support groups ;
and another that appears routinely is :
If nothing Changes, nothing changes
When you’re trying to stop drinking and stay sober, lasting change can be elusive. Nothing is worse than a consistent, continual, years-long hangover, yet people struggle to stop drinking and stay stopped.
I Made a Conscious Decision to Begin Drinking
The first memory I have about drinking is when I was 14 years old. We had moved across the country that year. It wasn’t a decision I would have made for myself. To cope with the feelings of disconnection from my friends, the anger and hatred I felt toward my mother for making us move, and the loss of control over life-changing decisions, I drank my first 6 pack of beer. It was sometime early morning that day. I sat at my vanity mirror smoking my mother’s cigarettes and drinking her beer, while looking at myself in the eyes, making one of the biggest determinations of my life, second to drinking – which was never to trust anyone ever again.
That moment laid the framework for the way I would live my life, going on 30 years now almost exactly.
And then I made a decision to change.
I woke up extremely hungover and made the decision that was it – I couldn’t live like that anymore, if I was going to live at all. And I don’t mean physically live, I mean truly live. Accept the experiences and the emotions that come with this body and make a new start.
Every day since then I have contended with the decision not to drink. A million little life-changing decisions have only become possible because I made ONE change. I no longer drink alcohol.
I have learned that life is precious and that sometimes it can be too late to quit again. So with each passing day, I started to become extremely honest with myself. That ‘no trust’ pact I made 30 years ago would have to be abolished. Instantly. And there was learning involved in that, but it’s like they say, “Just do it.” I know how hard that is, and I know how cliché it is, but what choice do you have when you run out of choices?
I’ve had to do some serious self-reflection.
I wasn’t ever chained to a wall, I chose to drink. I made the decision that would impact my entire life from then on out, young or not. Then I made another decision, to uphold that decision into adulthood. I convinced myself I had no choice. I convinced myself I couldn’t get through stress, sadness, happiness, or boredom, without alcohol. And I thought that I had all the time in the world to get out of it. How’s that for not taking responsibility for choices?
Despite all of it though, I am better for it. I am who I am because I made that choice back then, and I am who I am because I fought my way out of it, every single day since I quit. I can face hard things now. I’ve had to prove that to myself, through severe anxiety, fear, anger, and sadness, without alcohol.
I am In Control of every Choice
I can live with contentment, and I can throw caution to the wind that it’ll be what it’ll be without being tied to some mistrustful concept about waiting for a shoe to drop. That shoe fell off years ago and is likely ashes to ashes and dust to dust by now.
Along the way, I have simply decided that I’d rather trust. I’d rather be free, and I’d rather experience it, than numb it. Alcohol is like buckling yourself into the passenger seat of a car without windows, while something unknown steps on the gas. By not drinking alcohol, sure things can get ugly sometimes, but I’m not. This is the closest I’ve ever felt to being in control of my life. And for that, I am truly grateful.
I think most of us like new beginnings, I know I do. It’s about a clean slate: One we get every bless-ed day we get to wake up again and see the sun ☀️
New beginnings…let today be that for you. What are the changes that need to be made? If you’re already writing a long list- stop 🛑-let’s just think this through…Let’s get thinking sustainable & maintainable.
If we’re going to do anything and be successful at it we have to get real with ourselves and make it sustainable and maintainable over a long period of time. Or at least long enough to see real lasting changes- from just. one. change. ☝️
Define your Challenge. What will it be?
I started a walking challenge on Jan 30th last year with the intention to walk my way alcohol-free. The challenge is to walk outside for 10 minutes every single day (never missing one day no matter what) for an entire year.
I could have stated that I was going to walk 5k a day, or run a few miles every day, walk an hour a day, a half-hour…but none of that would have been possible if I got sick.
Are you going to walk a 30-minute power walk with the flu? Not likely. So I chose 10 minutes because that’s sustainable and maintainable every day for 365 consecutive days. The same basic premise is true for all who take on a quit-drinking challenge.
How do you make that sustainable and maintainable if you’re also taking on a weight-loss challenge, a make/save more money challenge, a speed dating challenge, or a challenge to become a better person by doing X,Y, and Z…etc??? 🤷♀️
The trick is YOU DON’T. 👎
You don’t have to. Your life will change infinitely, merely by making one change. Eliminate Alcohol. 💯Then…EVERYTHING becomes POSSIBLE! 🙌
“A blue sky never looked so good as when seen with clear eyes”
If you want to do all those other things mentioned above too, then by all means- do them! But they are not the challenge. They are not the thing you can’t miss a day of doing ⬇️⬇️⬇️
All you have to do to be successful is
stay dry.
But HOW?
It’s that simple and, that hard. That’s why it’s called a challenge in most social spaces. In our space (Boom) it’s a life-altering and very hard challenge, but you can do it! Here’s how:
This is what I suggest for day one. That’s it. No need to make it any harder than it already is, right? 💕
You Will Be Surprised
“If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.”
– Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
By taking on this challenge with an attitude of maintainable, sustainable, and downright just doable, you will be surprised that you’ll find these things will also happen at the VERY least…
So let’s do this! We’ll do it together! I’m with you today. I’ll be in your corner rooting you on, walking the Long path with you along with MANY others here on BOOM 🥰 …
We are up for this challenge, and we’re going to make it! 🙌 We’re going to keep it utterly simple. We’re going gain momentum. We’re going to be successful! And We will grow…together! 💪 💪 💪
Define your Challenge. What will it be?
30 Days? 100? A Year?
Put on your sober boots, lace up your AF shoes, and let’s walk our way to success one day, one minute, one moment at a time🦋
Join us in Boom for 100 days of change or A Dry January, A Tuned in February, A Momentous March, An Alcohol-Free April, A Marvellous May, A Jubilant June, A Dry July, An Arid August, A Sober September, A Sober October, A NOvember and a December you CAN Remember … We are there together 24/7, 365 days a year.
If you’re “sober curious” … If you are drinking too much too often and want to stop or take a break… Talk to Us.
We are an independent, anonymous and private community who share resources, support and talk it through every day. It helps to have a community behind you in a world where alcohol is the only addictive drug that people will question you for NOT using
More From this Author
Tips and Tools for Dry January and Beyond
MORE TOOLS FOR YOUR SOBER TOOLBOX
The Best Defense Is A Good Offense: Keeping Your Sober Toolbox Full
