Life has improved immeasurably since I dropped a house on the Wine Witch
Are you thinking about quitting drinking? Don’t worry about whether or not you’re addicted. Cutting alcohol out of your life is the best gift that you can give yourself. That is a fact.
Here are images of me Before and After I quit drinking
It’s easy to see a big difference between drinking me and sober me. But it wasn’t easy getting from point A to point B. Let’s start here.
Don’t get distracted by the “Am I an Alcoholic” question.
Everybody deserves respect that quits using alcohol. It irritates me that the same people that whisper about someone drinking too much will immediately brand them as an alcoholic about 5 seconds after it hits the gossip circuit that they quit drinking.
Ignore these people. They’re not your friends.
Don’t Get Distracted by the “Traditional Recovery” Crowd
The other side of the coin is people “in recovery” that don’t respect your quit because you don’t have enough street cred. If you didn’t have a near- death experience, live on the streets, prostitute yourself, do a minimum of $10,000 worth of property damage, do jail time, or f*** up at least 5 lives, not including your own, you really didn’t have a problem. Big deal. You quit. No sad, salacious story that tops the last one, no admittance to their club.
If somebody says, “That’s nothin’, let me tell you about a real alcoholic.”, Smile, nod, and walk away.
It doesn’t matter where you are in your life, how big or small someone else thinks your problems are.
Everybody’s quit is different. Every quit is hard and has its own challenges. There are as many paths to and reasons for an alcohol-free lifestyle as there are people.
Listen to your own body.
Be honest with yourself about how alcohol is affecting your life and interfering with your goals and happiness. Don’t compare your degree of addiction or severity of problems to anyone elses. It’s your life.
It doesn’t matter how spectacular or how quiet your quit appears to other people. It’s your quit. Protect it.
If you are struggling today, no matter where you are in your journey or where your journey started, know that you are respected and your voice is heard in this safe place.
I have become a completely different person over the last four years, 3 months, and 11 days, since I started posting my way alcohol-free in Boom.
My “Before and After I Quit Drinking” In Words and Images
Before
This picture was taken in September of 2021, one month before I quit drinking. I was 30+ pounds overweight, sad, angry, feeling trapped, and drinking wine pretty much every day. I felt like a fat, bored, tired blob. I was too ashamed to wear shorts, a sleeveless shirt, or go outside without a ton of makeup.
Yeah, that’s it. Lots of makeup and editing should hide the red nose and excess pounds. No hiding the dull-eyed misery.
The next logical question was: What do I need to do to find my way back to actually being a person again? Nobody is going to do this for me. My family is perfectly content to have a selfless, multitasking , unpaid domestic servant on call 24/7 that doesn’t ask questions and works for wine.
I was on a downward spiral of daily drinking. My husband had a heart attack and heart surgery earlier in the year. I quit my job to care for him.
Things went from bad to worse. My daughter showed up homeless, jobless, and alone. A couple of months later, my son-in-law dropped my then- 14 m.o. granddaughter off in the middle of the night.
Instantly, I had a half- finished house, an adult child that I had to drive everywhere, a little person to care for all day, and a husband that did nothing to help.
My days consisted of cook, clean, care for granddaughter, load the baby into car seat. drive daughter to home healthcare clients every two hours, unload baby, cook, clean, drive. Lather, rinse, repeat. I had no help. Everything was my job
I had to start somewhere. Learning to say no was a good start. No, I am not cooking whatever you want at the expense of my health. No, I am not doing things for you that you should be doing yourself. No, you may not invade my private space. No. No. No, and more no, and no, I am not interested in your unsolicited opinion of my appearance or habits. No you will not treat me with disrespect. Most of all, no to alcohol.
By 2021, I was drinking more every evening, I was sick, tired, 156 lbs. Somehow, in all the chaos I lost myself. I felt like I didn’t even exist. Where the hell did I go?
Goodbye, Wine Witch!!! Halloween is over!!! (Yep, I was drinking. It was Halloween) This is how I picture the Wine Witch.
After – Year 1 Sober
After all that no, I had to decide what merited a yes. I knew what I didn’t want. What did I really want?
I knew I had to quit drinking. Two months later, I noticed some improvement. I lost about 10 lbs. I started taking care of myself.
I started eating healthy food. I started walking, running a little, dancing, core and strength training again. No time to watch hubby watch TV and eat junk food with him.
I bought only things I valued with the money I saved by not drinking. I started not to care so much about status and more about true happiness.
Something shifted. The weight came off. The tons of makeup went away. (50 years of hating the way I look is enough.) My husband is more respectful. ( I think I scare him.) My kids solve more of their own problems. My days don’t seem so long because I only do my jobs.
After – Year 2 Sober
By the next year, I was healthier, more energetic, and determined to get my life back. It was a challenging year.
After – Year 3 Sober
Year 3 brought more changes. I started really standing up for myself, taking time to work out, and pursue what I thought was important
I was down 30 lbs. and minus about a foot of unflattering hair. I was still not quite where I wanted to be, but I kept working at it every day.
After – Year 4 Sober
The 4th year sober has brought more changes. I feel like I am finally a whole person again. I will be 64 in a few days. I have come a long way from 156 lbs. to 118 lbs
I feel brave and confident enough to walk my dog down the street and post this unedited version of the person I am right now. I didn’t bother to brush my hair. My dog doesn’t care if I wear makeup so I didn’t bother with that either. Is that the steam mop I used on the kitchen floor before we left? Are those sneakers dirty? Holy cats! Now everyone in cyberspace knows my legs aren’t straight. I don’t have 6 pack abs .(thanks twins) Who cares? I dont.
Oh, well. At least it’s real.
Sober I am in charge of me.
I am healthier and more fit than ever before. I didn’t get cosmetic surgery, use weight loss drugs, or use filters of any kind to document my progress.
This is purely the result of not drinking and taking charge of my life.
Five years ago, I didn’t think any of this was possible. I didn’t dream of the things I would gain by giving up alcohol. I thought wine was the only bright spot in my day. I thought not drinking would be a huge loss.
Now, I see many bright spots in a day. Even a bad or stressful day has bright spots. They were always there. I just couldn’t see them
If you aren’t seeing the positive results you want from being AF as quickly as you wanted or don’t think you are making progress, stick with it. You’re worth it.
Before I Quit Drinking – I tried to be everything for everyone except me
I used to have this overwhelming, all-encompassing guilt about everything. I felt it was my duty to help everyone less fortunate because I didn’t deserve anything good. I was just lucky. If I didn’t do everything in my power to help everyone, the universe would swoop in and take it all away to teach me a lesson about humility. One unkind thought, one lazy day, one selfish act, and BAM!
I always thought that I should just solve problems and get things done. Whining about feelings wastes precious time. Crying is for the weak , delicate pansies of the world. Life’s not fair, so suck it up, sista’!
Changing this tough girl attitude has been one of the hardest parts of this journey. If I am honest with myself, I still equate showing emotion with weakness and vulnerability to a certain extent. Letting people in equals opening the door to pain and disappointment. That’s another myth I need to bust.
After I Quit Drinking – I’m learning to let myself be human
I’m working on getting over the idea that I need to accomplish something extraordinary every day, to actually enjoy my life without constantly second- guessing every decision. I have always been really afraid of getting too comfortable and lazy.
It’s not my job to save the world. I don’t have to strive to achieve greatness in all things.
Today I did some pretty half- assed cleaning (by my standards) and didn’t create anything brilliant yesterday before I sat down to watch TV instead of enriching my mind.
Once again, I was not struck by lightning for being lazy and callous. It was a great day for being alcohol-free and human. 😊
It Doesn’t matter if you are or are not an alcoholic.
Drinking is not the answer. It’s never the answer.
For me, Drinking was always a way to postpone feelings. I could get through the rough stuff, have some wine, then get through another round of unnecessary drama , other people’s self- created crises, anger, resentment, and never feeling good enough. I could feel feelings and sleep when I’m dead.
I had too much to do. Too many people depended on me. What would everyone do if I fell apart or just had a totally unglued meltdown? Wine at the end of the day was my reward. It was my only reward.
The reality was that drinking was keeping me trapped. I was missing out on the real rewards in life.
Since I dropped a house on the Wine Witch, I have had a few angry, yelling, swearing rants. There have been days that the house looked like one big, filthy construction site. Horror of all horrors, I have gone out in public with no makeup and ratty work clothes. I have declined opportunities to fix other people’s problems. I’ve told unpleasant truths directly to the person in need of them.
To my astonishment, no permanent damages were incurred as a result. Sometimes you have to tear bad things down to build something better.
There are still some rooms in my mind that need remodeling. I have to face them, do the demo, and build better things.
I choose to do the work without alcohol.
Come join me at www.BoomRethinktheDrink.com
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