A Woman of A Certain Age – Soberbaddassery Part 2

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There were two movies made in the late 1960s that left a big impression on me when I watched them as a teen in the 1980’s. Both movies had great music and they both told the story of a college-aged man, wet behind the ears, maturing after being seduced by an older woman. One was The Graduate, and the other, Harold and Maude.

Now the interesting thing is that I always thought Ann Bancroft’s character in the Graduate was damn sexy for a woman of a certain age. Not very nice, hard as nails, but definitely sexy. Great hair, lingerie, attitude and the proverbial whiskey glass and cigarette … tough and sexy! 


But now that I am a woman of a certain age and I’ve dropped the glass, and the smoke, and the attitude … I am gloriously, happily growing into the kind of personality of this seductress ( video clip below) that Ruth Gordon played in Harold and Maude. And my husband and I could not be happier about the transformation. 



Beware of what you’re sold in a culture that thrives on selling, selling, selling, the clothes and make-up and everything required to build, sculpt, mold a “perfect body”. Beware of anything that someone tries to sell you at all. Beware of a culture that sells you sexuality, sensuality, romance, and empowerment, in a bottle or five-liter box.

You are enough.

The closer I come to finding me, just me, the happier, stronger, sexier, and more alive I become. Like a kid jumping on a trampoline that’s life ……

Yes I know how Harold and Maude ends. But back in the 1960’s we thought 80 was really, really old. Not so much anymore. 

” The Earth is my body. My head is in the stars ”    Maude 

Lotta wisdom in that crazy movie

Insert smile emoji … 🙂

A few years ago, when I was drinking heavily – high functioning – but drunk most nights by 9 pm, I remember looking forward to my upcoming retirement at 55 as a time when I would be able to float passively away on a river of wine. 

When I think back on that mindset it absolutely amazes me. It’s like I’d been possessed by a demon…. and I had...

That image of the future me as a “woman of a certain age” with a wine glass perpetually dangling from my hand is not only something I no longer romanticize, it’s been replaced by my truth. I am perpetually young, vibrant, full of ideas and energy, and possessed of a generous spirit, looking for ways to reach out and share all of the beauty that I’ve been so lucky to experience…energy, love, freedom, hope …. no wine thankyou. I’ve had quite enough.  

I was watching CNN with my daughter recently and they were interviewing a couple of women who work with rape victims in the Congo. Those women were so vibrant and full of love and light and they were sharing their strength where it is needed the most.

In the past few days, and all of the days in the years since I stopped drinking… my hope and love and vitality just grow… There is so much that each of us has to give. So much that we can accomplish. So much to enjoy.

Don’t waste a minute of your precious life doing something that drains your soul, your energy, your self-respect.

Decide to do what is right for you today. Just do the next right thing, and the next, and the next. If drinking has become a poisonous activity for you focus on getting the poison out of your system and not adding any back in.

I have a million bright ideas of what I’ll be doing with my retirement and none of them include wine.

Join me? 

Boom Community Rethink the Drink


More thoughts on SoberBadassey and the culture that sells numb :

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Alcohol is the only drug that people question you for NOT using but you don’t HAVE to drink. Don’t stay trapped because the stigma of not drinking seems worse than the cost of drinking too much.

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Sober BadAssery or the Story of my Sober Bad Ass Shoes

My Beautiful World and the Booze Brain Beast

On Being Sober by Harry Haroutunian

Staying Sober Without AA by Charles Deemer

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