When you stop drinking or go sober, it is so common to feel overwhelmed, a little lost, scared, or even disheartened. Metomorphosis? Sober Journey? Recovery? “I’m not sure I’ll ever get there.” That’s exactly what the caterpillar must be thinking as its solid body is dissolving into liquid inside the cocoon—that and
“I’m dying in here, f*ck the wings. Can I go back? I’ll be okay with crawling, I loved eating tomatoes. Seriously, life on the ground wasn’t that bad. Haaaalp!!”
Diving into transformation is nearly always Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. The thing we started out to do tends to mushroom and morph into unexpected side trips and layers. Even things that were going well can turn into a hot mess because so much is breaking down and resistance on conscious and unconscious levels starts raging. At the same time, unseen forces come into play to guide and help us, and so many other souls become involved in our journey.
Inner work ripples outward and eventually, everything transforms. As promising as that might sound, it’s also one of the reasons why healing, recovering, growing, and changing are so terrifying. Beyond the obvious existential crisis, our entire world can flip on its axis. Friends can begin to feel like strangers and total strangers can grow to be cherished, lifelong soulmates. Partnerships can rise to new highs of harmony and intimacy or end up on the rocks. Considering how big and sacred and miraculous a process like going sober can be, it was never going to happen overnight—or quickly, or in a few weeks. The work is too important, because we’re laying track that will enable us to believe in and claim a life of infinite possibilities. A life of promise and creativity and authenticity and vitality, a life that places us in the flow of our highest good. In sobriety – recovery. In recovery – discovery.
These journeys seldom look the way we think they will or unfold the way we would have planned. Our progression is never linear and most shifts of consciousness are only visible from a place further up the road looking back. Little wonder that we doubt our own process. Which makes it so important to be patient, keep taking the baby steps, dance at every opportunity, and turn up the volume on Billy Joel’s immortal anthem, “Keepin’ the Faith.”
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“I think I have a problem with drinking”