Courageous woman on Tight rope

From Sober Curious to Sober Courageous

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A post in our online community about the keys to sobriety got me thinking about courage. I wrote something about courage as a key to being sober in my comment and then stumbled across this in Haruki Murakami’s book, The Wind-up Bird Chronicle :

“Curiosity can bring guts out of hiding at times, maybe even get them going. But curiosity evaporates. Guts have to go for the long haul. Curiosity’s like an amusing friend you can’t really trust. It turns you on and then it leaves you to make it on your own–with whatever guts you can muster.”

And I can’t help but see the truth in this.

Being sober curious can get us to the point of researching sobriety and thinking about our drinking in broad terms. Reaching out to a community of peers as sober curious can bring the guts or courage out of hiding enough for us to face the coal fire and do something about it. But to stay sober, and to delve into the heart of the matter of our lives, it takes guts. It takes courage. It takes bravery.


And what are guts?
Bravery?
Courage?

I think it’s about respect.
Respecting yourself and your choices.
Having the guts to stand up for yourself.


As children, so much is out of our control but as adults we get to write our own narratives. I think having guts is having the strength of character to do just that. Being courageous is having the strength of character to be ourselves and not hang our happiness on other people’s ideas or values or on inherited ones. It is brave to forge our own path rather than repeating our parents narrative. The page isn’t blank but we hold the pen.


In sobriety we get to take back control of our mind and intelligence, starting with fostering an alertness and will. As we gather focus, we increase our capacity to decide where we send our attention. This enlarges our aptitude for making choice. When we are more aware, we have more opportunity to make choices. With more choice, comes more freedom.


Sobriety can be profound, exposing and even painful. Sensations of the body, thoughts in our mind. Becoming aware can be a challenging. How we tame wild thoughts and allow space for processing, is a highly personal thing. Maybe it’s meditation, running, cycling, being with nature.

I encourage us all to have guts – respect our choice to be sober, find our ways to tackle the hard stuff, filtering out the unhelpful patterns. To do so allows us to evolve and progress, to be more patient, calm and centred. Basically it allows us to be happier humans. ❤️

If you’re “sober curious” …

If you are drinking too much too often and want to stop or take a break…

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