My beautiful Auntie
So glamorous and cool
Wherever she went
guys noticed and drooled
But she didn’t seem to realise
She looked at herself with critical eyes
Lacking confidence
she started to drink
alcohol…
It made things better for her
she’d think
When I was younger
she traveled all over the world
She went to places like Singapore
I’d listen enthralled
She bought us oriental pajamas
in which to get dressed
I was so impressed
I was about thirteen
Her life seemed like a dream
She was a bit temperamental
But not judgemental
She was full of laughter and fun
Like a bright happy sun
Fast forward a few years to when the phone rang
Oh mum, I said warily, it’s begun
She’s going to be a pain
It’s my Auntie
She’s drunk again
Slurring her words
Could you talk to her first?
She’s hard work
An hour later she’s still waffling on
Now drunkenly singing some sort of song
Angry my mum doesn’t remember
Come on, Auntie says
I heard it 5 years ago one December
A few years down the line
She came to visit
Fell asleep on the train
Knew she wouldn’t be on time
So what did she do
She leapt like a fool
Onto the platform
Twisted her ankle
Lost a shoe
My brother collected her
His obvious disgust
His disdain
She’s drunk again
Years later still I was 26
We got a call
She’s ill
My mum drove down
Found her disheveled in her tatty dressing gown
The next day my mum made a call
She told us
Your Auntie is in hospital
She’s not expected to live at all
Multiple organ failure
She’s not really there
Was it a blessing she didn’t know
That she didn’t have to care?
At the other end of the country
no time to get there
Instead I sent beautiful flowers
Sat by the phone
Counting the hours
They arrived just in time for her to see
Though she probably didn’t really
Then she passed away
at just fifty
My beautiful Auntie,
alcohol took her from me,
she passed at just fifty
The reality
is not so glamorous and cool
I still miss her dearly
She never believed
she had a problem at all
From the start to the end
She thought alcohol was her friend
glamorous and cool
This post was written by Floss, author of The Puppeteer and other poetic musings on living alcohol-free
More by this author :
Finding Balance at 6 Months Sober
Too much Vodka Under the Bridge
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