Most of us think that if we follow the rules of safe drinking practices – more or less – we will not step over that line from someone who enjoys alcohol to someone who is abused by it. Abused by alcohol? Isn’t it the alcohol that gets abused not the other way around? When we talk about alcohol abuse we talk about people abusing the substance, not the substance-abusing the person. But if you spend any time at all talking to people who are having trouble stopping drinking, they are most definitely abused by alcohol.
Needing to stop drinking is often seen as a punishment. We think of people who go sober as alcoholics. People who are in danger of losing their dignity and possibly their lives. But if you’re not an alcoholic, if you’re just a habitual drinker who is losing control of how much and how often you drink, you may feel that going sober is a punishment. A cage. A life sentence. We drink to be free! But…
Things I know about myself when I’m actively drinking:
My life falls apart at the seams and I try to sew it up with alcohol.
I do not function like a normal human.
I have this bitter outlook on life that I hide behind sarcasm and humour
My husband and I fight constantly.
My emotions are numb and I can’t feel anything.
My daughter has told me she always wondered if I would be nice or mean.
I’m 15kg heavier.
My house is always clean because I try to over-compensate.
I forget hours of my life.
I put myself in precarious situations.
I am SEVERELY depressed.
My mind tries to fill in the blackouts and leaves me with false memories (anyone else?)
I’m in a constant shame and anxiety cycle.
I hate being drunk all the time.
I like being drunk all the time.
I like that I have a buffer against me and the world.
I hate myself.
In Australia, 1 in 10 parents of kids age 9 to 12, say they’re drinking a lot more alcohol, during the Covid-19 lockdown. Does that sound familiar to you? Whether you are in Australia, the UK or the United States, alcohol consumption is way up in 2020 as we isolate and lockdown to protect out health and the health of our families and communities –
It’s pretty common, although arguably counter-productive, for people to suggest that you drink yourself numb in times of stress. It’s also common, although arguably counter-productive, for people to suggest that the more time you spend home alone with your kids the more you may need to drink yourself numb. There has never been a time when tweets like this one – were more normalized.
You cannot close the schools and also close the liquor stores. Please. Please have mercy on the parents
In the months leading up to the beginning of the 2020 school year in the United States, widespread joking on social media about “quarantinis” and COVID day-drinking might be fanning the flames of alcohol abuse, which was already a pop culture, cutesy mom power topic last year. Mommy’s Wine Time has been an accepted pastime for years in the U.S. but maybe now it’s time to slow down on that ideal-
As a woman and as a mom, I thought for years that self-care came in a bottle. I bought the mommy’s wine time thing and often drank more than I wished, more often than I wished. But I finally did find a way to stop. And now I know that sobriety is most definitely not a punishment.
Things I know about myself when I’m not drinking:
I am stable (stability is relative right?)
My work attendance is amazing
I am coming to terms and dealing with the things that have not been dealt with for years.
I like not having a buffer against me and the world.
My husband and I very rarely fight and our communication skills have leveled up
My house is a bloody mess.
I am more tired than I have ever been in my life because I don’t drink for that extra boost.
My daughter and I have an amazing relationship.
I’m learning to form boundaries.
I’m 15kg lighter.
No more precarious situations that I don’t remember- apparently putting myself in precarious situations is just what I do.
I haven’t struggled with suicidal ideation since I stopped drinking.
I still have issues, but I feel more equipped to deal with them.
I’m learning how to live without shame.
My anxiety is circumstantial rather than general.
Moods are still an issue.
I don’t have a big festering secret.
I don’t lose days of my life at a time.
I don’t drive drunk.
I (mostly) go to bed at a decent time.
I’m learning the art of self-care.
I am PRETTY (and humble)
I love myself.
I love myself
Think of staying alcohol free or going sober during Covid19 as putting your oxygen mask on first- Start Today – There has never been a better time to go alcohol- free.
Come join us for a Sober September. It’s not about giving something up as much as it is about getting something back. We are talking about taking back your freedom of choice. Breaking the status quo. Putting down the booze not because you are weak and cannot handle it, but because we have found that we are STRONGER if we do not get sucked into the inevitability of drinking in a culture that promotes drinking as essential.
If you’re “sober curious” … If you are drinking too much too often and want to stop or take a break…or if you have stopped drinking and are trying to stick to sober! Talk to Us.
We are an independent, anonymous and private community who share resources, support and talk it through every day. It helps to have a community behind you in a world where alcohol is the only addictive drug that people will question you for NOT using
community support 24-7 or sign up and sign in here
Don’t let the shame of the stigma keep you from saying
“I think I have a problem with drinking”