Another solstice marks another point on the yearly cycle. Things come into being and things pass away. This was my fifth summer solstice since I stopped drinking. I just had to get off the merry-go-round to nowhere. Nothing changes if nothing changes. It really comes down to the choices we make. The same lessons just recycle again and again until we learn, and make different choices. The thing is, this is a major choice for a problem drinker to make. It has to be made at the level of the soul. An intellectual decision is insufficient. It’s the choice for life, and by life, I don’t mean just remaining alive. I mean the polar opposite of self-deception, compromise, and indecision.
Hope lies in the fact that one gets another opportunity as the seasons of one’s discontent circle around for another pass. Out of darkness, the dawn emerges breathing life into the shattered illusions of stagnant dreams born of fantasy. Will the soul be ignored by the addicted minds clamoring for permission to be granted once again?
I hope not.
Perhaps all I can do is stay steadfast in my commitment to that part of me so long ignored and pushed aside for the sake of immediate gratification. For within that commitment lies my hope.
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