I haven’t told many people about my sobriety yet. I was almost too afraid to talk about it. How many times have I declared my sobriety, had friends and family show support, love, and encouragement, just to fall back into the vicious addiction?! What would people think? What would people say? Would I lose friends that I’ve been connected to with drinking for so long? Would I completely ruin my social life? Would I have people worried or extra cautious around me? Would I screw up and have to declare my sobriety again and again? Would people get tired of hearing about it? Would I be too much for everyone?

This week something changed inside of me. I was not only feeling proud of myself but also wanting my sobriety to not be such a “secret” anymore. I wanted people to know, not just for affirmation, a pat on the back, or congratulations but because I have started to finally feel like I am building a new life for myself. This new life is full of honesty, vulnerability, and deep true connection with myself. I want that connection with others.

I started slow by talking to a few close friends. Wow they were so happy to hear it and happy for me. Then I talked to my mom and although she didn’t know too much, she was actually waiting and hoping I would say those words… mom, I’m sober now. I talked with my managers at the country club where I work and was shocked that not only were they so happy for me, they were inspired by my story- they too have both been trying to get and stay sober! I reached out to some old friends and family members that I isolated myself from when things got really bad and the response was always the same- happiness, support and love.

There are still some people I want, need, and should talk to about it… and I will when the time feels right. But man, it feels good to not be hiding this huge part of myself.

It’s almost like I want to wear a pin everyday that says hey! I’m sober! Just so I don’t have to bring up the conversation, but also, most of the time I just don’t want the spotlight on me. I just don’t want to talk about it at all. I’m happily surprised by how many people have reached out saying that they too have been struggling and feeling very alone in it all- happy to be able to shine a light on something society tells us to not talk about.

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related reading : The Cages in our Minds – Talking With my Young Son About Alcohol and Sugar Addiction and Write Your Own Narrative

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