I was introduced to you through teenage romanticism; my friend died and I jumped straight into your chasm.
You were there when family was not; you comforted me, as I melted into an afterthought.
You gave me the means when I needed to escape; while I was just a child, one that someone would rape.
You carried me whilst I was alone after my daughter was born; you became a shoulder to cry on when my womb emptied itself and I had to mourn.
You were there for years while my womb remained empty; told me that you would be there for me whilst my husband was hurting.
You gave me courage when I could not find my voice; many friendships founded on nothing but a farce.
You dulled my emotions so I could feel no more, I wanted to be numb, try not to give into my thoughts.
So numb I became, that I couldn’t forge a connection; a connection with friends, my daughter or even my husband.
All I thought about was you, and what you could give me; without any thought to myself or for my family.
They say an addict, is always an addict; fuck you though.
written 2 days before I finally kissed the bottle good-bye
How do You Know You Have a Problem With Alcohol? Is It Time to Stop Drinking ?
After a year of becoming sicker and sicker every time I drank, I woke up one-morning last summer with the worst hangover in my life and resolved to stop drinking, once and for all. It had taken me a long time to accept that I had a problem – Goodbye alcohol. read more here
“Whatever you’re meant to do, do it now. The conditions are always impossible.”
― Doris Lessing
Dear Sauvignon Blanc,
It’s over. We’ve had a long run and I thought you were a good friend but ultimately you were not. I never had an imaginary friend as a child, but I found one in you as an adult. Only I didn’t realise for a long time that you were imaginary. I really believed in you and the good things I thought you brought to the table. Sure hangovers weren’t fun but I thought you were 100% worth it.
You were part of my identity! Like peas in a pod, BFF’s. And to be fair, I have had some really creative moments while you were involved. Like that time I had an epiphany how to close a deal on a house we really wanted to buy.
And some really funny times too. Like that time we christened the cat at a dinner party.
I have given you credit for these things, but you aren’t real so why did I give you the credit?
Mainly it’s two things that kept me in love for so long.
1) the social lubricant you have provided and
2) your short-term numbing qualities.
What I seemed to have overlooked is that everything else you have brought to my life has been negative and highly unhelpful. How could I have kept rosé tinted glasses on for so long??? WTF.
But not anymore. Goodbye alcohol. I see you for what you are. A draining, soul-destroying imaginary friend. An energy vampire. A backstabber. So guess what? I’m going to figure out the social thing without you and I’m going to find other ways to decompress. I’m stumbling through it but already starting to find other ways and they feel way better. And my new ways don’t come with negative costs to my life.
So goodbye alcohol, good riddance. I know you will come knocking, you will say sorry and that you will be different this time and maybe one day soon I will romanticise you and our past life together and when that happens I will read this and remind myself what a snake in the grass you are. And guess what else? I don’t want a false social life. Or avoid my issues. I’m 40 and my dream is to be 80 and look back and see this as one of the greatest plot twists in my story. You aren’t allowed back into my life because I don’t trust you, not for a second.
Day 2 alcohol-free!
How do you stop drinking and stay sober?
Be so strong,
Such a pain in the wine witches ass
Give the booze beast the boot
Refuse to listen to the alcohol voice,
You do have a choice
Act as if
You’ve a chance to beat this toxic shit
You have to do the hard stuff
But in the end it comes down to you
I guess you need to find the key
To what will work
It’s individual really
Just saying “Stop doing it!” might not be enough
We have to look at why we over entertained that stuff
Find a healthy alternative that works
Realise alcohol’s just a jerk
Explore the challenge of finding balance
There’s no shortcut
Experience and wisdom can’t really be bought
We have to find the right key not pick the lock
Just a thought……
Read more :
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Don’t let the shame of the stigma keep you from saying
“I think I have a problem with drinking”