Life has been dauntingly sober of late – I’ve been stumbling a bit on my sober journey.
I think I might’ve had a silent breakdown
This year my fun side has just left town
Too much pressure and demands all around
Only my demons make a welcoming sound
Is it time to throw the towel in
Or rest, reset and just re-begin?
How can I make myself stick to the win?
It’s so much effort to do
To bring myself back from feeling like shit
To having a life with happiness in it
So much I think that I want to do
But I don’t have the motivation to
I’m always so tired, frantic and wired
Have I had a silent breakdown but nobody knew?
As long as the right things are what I say and do
But where am I?
Am I partly missing?
Is that true?
What do you do if you just feel half of you?
And how can I get the old me back
Without giving in to a Wine Witch attack?
I have an idea that’s gaining traction
I just have to find healthy distraction
From all the constant worry and stress
I’m figuring this out
I’m soberly impressed
D Drinking wine to numb emotion
I Is a bit stupid of me because it
S starts to crush my spirit instead &
T to heal from things is to
R really sit with them and feel
A alcohol doesn’t let us do that, it
C coils around us like a snake
T then slowly squeezes the fun, joy &
I in fact hope and health until the
O only thing left is the
N need for more alcohol
S somehow that seems a bad deal
Alcohol the fun stealing sponge 🧽
What if the answer was there all the time ?
Choose healthy happy distractions
You want to stay on a cool patch of land
But the bulldozers might be coming to where you stand
You glimpse across a murky lake
A beautiful stretch of green
But from where you’re based
It can’t really be seen
It’s quite abstract in fact
Though you imagine it’s serene
Your own grounds seem uneven and there’s more
Mines have started to appear for sure
If you can just avoid those
You think you’re still happy with the patch you chose
After all it was your choice right?
Not the alcohol voice screaming to you at night?
When your land feels unsteady and you think about giving up
You gaze wistfully across the uninviting lake
You’d like to swim across but do you have what it takes?
You think you might decide instead to just stay
Tell yourself it’ll be ok
You can avoid any mines today
But is it a decision made through choice or fear?
Could you swim across the water
That seems so near?
I think you definitely can
It’s an opportunity open to anyone and
It’s natural to be afraid but we could do it anyway
The murky water you wade in might get clearer today
Perhaps the sun will shine
As you swim across the water
Away from the wine
Wouldn’t that be fine
A strange thing happens as you dip your toes in
The water isn’t as gloomy or as cold as you think
As you get deeper and deeper still
You find your determination getting stronger until
You’re swimming with less effort and with lots more ease
Toward the pastures of colour and peace
Birds sweetly chirping their morning sounds
The grass smells so fresh
There are flowers all around
You couldn’t see or feel this from your previous chosen ground
It was worth it now to begin and swim
Across the lake to sobriety
A place you want to live in
Glancing across the water to where you lived before
You’re becoming more aware
Nothing much grows
As the sun doesn’t often shine there
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