It would be easy
For wine to deceive me
Part of me really wants it to
The media tells us drinking’s the thing to do
But I was taught to think for myself …

to think for myself

too ….

Day 2

SOBER

To the Wine Witch :
My life is mine
I won’t give it to you
I see how you’re tangled in the pathways of others
I’ve given you chances
Don’t want to give you another
You’re not worth it
And I want to stay a sober mother

Your promises are just lies
They have me ducking for cover
A boring dull mess
In a torn wine stained dress
When I did 200 days sober before
I didn’t think about drinking every day for sure
I didn’t even like the taste anymore

Working towards the days
Where I don’t want to pour
I know that they exist
But it’s up to me to find them
To continue to drink
Or to decide to desist

The fact I want to be a non drinker is a really big sign it’s time
The fact I’m finding that difficult is another

It’s lethal, cruel and too much of a risk
It’s not fine
Comparing “happy hour” to someone dying from alcohol’s final hour
Certainly makes wine lose it’s shine

---

I am starting my Day 2 Sober with a story I think of when I’m wondering if I can really do this sober journey forever. 

He was one of those who turned into a blithering drunk when he drank. Would start drinking vodka at 8 a.m. and go until passed out in the afternoon. We were on a trip with him once when he had about a year of sobriety under his belt, but he started drinking again on the trip.  He was gross to be around–always wanted to be chatty and huggy with complete strangers while drunk, repulsed me even when he was sober in the mornings because I knew what was coming in the afternoon.  He tried everything, rehab several times, his wife left him (and came back) twice, finally went to AA.  Has been sober over 5 years.  Looks fantastic, is the most cheerful, “up” person ever.  He practically stops people on the street to tell them how happy he is to be sober. A wonderful advertisement for sobriety.  A constant reminder to me that if he can do it, I can.

I see “forever” with him and how much it’s changed him for the better. A true case of “if he can do it, so can I.”

---

After 200 days sober the other night got the better of me and I had wine. Now I’m back on day 2 sober and so annoyed. I have some observations to note to help me next time I think I want some wine :

• I was annoyed I hadn’t gone off the taste like last time but it did taste acridy and a bit sour
• The first glass was ok but it was watching a funny movie that was the relaxing factor not the alcohol
• After 2 small glasses I thought I might as well have more
• I wanted an escape from the anxiety and sadness of the argument with my son and feeling like a bad parent which really stung
• I watched a couple of movies alone My Best Friends Girl and You, Me & Dupree. I watched them to escape and get away from responsibility, it worked until….
• Wine doesn’t relax me, my surroundings do
• I was annoyed at wine because it made my Becks Blue not taste as nice and I’d been craving Becks Blue for days
• I ate rubbish because I was drinking ( cold leftover rice with crumbly cheese anyone?!) and practically inhaled the dry roasted nuts
• My relationship with food is still messed up because as I got the wine out I thought, this will stop me eating all the ice cream (FFS stupid mindset)
• The next day I woke up annoyed with myself, no sparkles, mild hangover, dreary, fed up and annoyed at losing 50 plus AF days
• I’d wanted to blot out my bad mum episode
• Oh I forgot I was mean to my husband
• My drunk self is a spoiled brat
• My relationship with my kids is a trigger
• I still want to kick booze out of my life
• I want to chase sober not alcohol
• I will kick alcohol because i don’t want it in my life enough
• I need to learn to moderate sugar as for me it’s a gateway to drinking

---

Going sober?🚦
If you are still dreaming about it 💭
You can still do it ⏰
Go for it 👀🙏
Don’t listen to Beer Boy bullying 👊
Or negative Witchy shit 💩
They’ll tell you it’s harmless
But they don’t mean it 🕵️🕵️☣
What if sobriety is your real hearts desire
♥ 🤔 ❤ 💓 ✨
Fan the flames of AF success
ODAAT
And watch them rise higher 🔥🔥🔥
Eventually it’ll become second nature
And you never know
Getting sober might just save ya!

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Don’t let the shame of the stigma keep you from saying

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Read more :

How do you Stop Drinking? Our Community Shares What Worked for Us

Finding the Courage to go Sober

Ten Ways to Overcome My Drinking Problem