We sober up and sober up. Wonder why this keeps happening.

Sometimes more help is needed. We act out because of past experiences we had way back as kids when we had no tools to reframe and heal.

Imagine my surprise when I put down the bottle, got grief counseling and childhood experiences were entangled in my grief and boozing.

How many of us suffer from:
Depression
Trauma
Child abuse
Personality disorders
Eating disorders
Anger management issues

The list goes on and on. Survival.

I want more.

My unconscious behaviors stop here.

My hurting others stops here.

I don’t want to be a dry drunk thumping on others. Blaming others.

It stops here.

I.

Am.

Responsible.

I detach from others and focus on my behavior, even if it means walking away. I have no control over people, places, or things. No control over the past. I can do the next right thing with love.

There’s my business and none of my business.

I want to live in joy and peace. I want loving relationships. I will seek out professionals that bring the unconscious into my conscious while continuing peer support on Boom, spirituality, reading and self-care.

I am responsible.

The old mind got me where I was. I am responsible.

I will do the next right thing with love and sober.

Sobriety, if I’m gentle, open, and patient with myself, is not deprivation, though it can feel like that. Actually, boozing is. Deprivation of hobbies, intimacy, creativity, spirituality, health, gratitude, and more.

Feelings are not always facts.

Sobriety is deconstructing shame.

The root of drunkenness?

Never enough?

Sobriety is sweeping away critical voices, especially the parental ones. No more navel-gazing.

It’s throwing out destructive and unrealistic comparisons.

Away with the familiar places, people, and things.

Away with smelling like a bar, puffy face, red eyes.

Kicking out love denied. Everyone wants and needs love. It is never found at the bottom of a bottle and we are meant to give and receive love.

The void enters and the decision to move toward something better or run away happens, sometimes many times a day.

Then we find places like Boom, spirituality of some kind, validation, and ability to love ourselves. The void becomes full of solid, lasting and priceless gifts.

Overnight?

Probably not.

May you love yourself by being alcohol-free. May you love yourself to try again. And again and again.

“No problem can be solved by the same consciousness that caused the problem in the first place.”

Albert Einstein

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