A Sober September Farewell to the Wine Witch

Dear Wine Witch,

Thank you. Thank you for always being there for me. You were always by my side for the good and bad, ups and downs through my adult life’s events. You never let me down, you were always there, so smooth, gentle, fresh – a pure delight. Well, unless I had too much of you, of course, causing headaches, causing the ceiling to spin, and sometimes causing me to visit the porcelain God. But that was temporary, and it too passed, right? Regardless of these still, yet loud warnings, I kept going back to you and you were there silently waiting, without any question. Your oh-so comforting embrace, that feeling inside me that “all will really be alright, just keep my glass full”.

I am unsure if you joined me, or I joined you. I have forgotten this detail along the way. Maybe our relationship just happened, and it was mutual. But really, thank you that I met you. Thank you so much.

You did a pretty fine job hiding your true self in that attractive bottle of yours, the one with the cute label and the golden twist off cap. So much easier than having to take out the wine bottle cork opener, urgh. Or even better, getting you straight from the box! How handy! Next to no recycling, easiest pour ever, complete blindness of quantity consumed. BONUS! Don’t know, didn’t see it, didn’t happen- out of sight, out of mind. 

Thank you for being a true hoax, and real fraudulent partner, and for teaching me what imitation pleasure is all about. Without those amazing moments and years of pirated joy we spent together, the headaches, hangovers, and nausea, I would have never made my way to where I am in this present moment. Here, sitting on my comfy chair, 100% present, clear-headed and sober like a glass of water, writing away thanking you.

Just so you know, I am not lonely: my herbal tea, black coffee, electrolyte drink, and plenty of snacks and ice cream have ALL become my best friends!! Plus, they do not lie, they are for real. They do not know guilt, shame, headaches or blackouts…

These past 131 days sober, I have unquestionably ignored you, but most of all I have let you go [and FYI: I am not coming back].

It was time overdue.

Our strong and faithful relationship was headed in the wrong direction. That sounds extremely contrary, doesn’t it?? Now, wouldn’t one WANT to continue a strong and faithful relationship? Heck Yeah!!! Without a doubt!! But the thing is, our relationship was deceptive from the first time I met you, decades ago. Yes, it’s been that long, and it took me that long to look at, and figure out the REAL YOU, Wine Witch… but you know what the best part of all this discovery is? It also took me that long to start understanding, discovering, and seeing the real ME.

So, thank you Wine Witch.

I thought that every glass you offered provided me with the courage to deal with life, life itself, and all that it encompasses. But to my great discovery, each glass did the exact opposite: it eagerly took away from my life, it suffocated my courage one sip at a time. Now I am learning to re-build every sip of lost courage, one moment at a time, one day at a time, one step in front of the other. All is not lost, as I trust and believe that I will gain the strength to find my true self amidst this tornado you assisted me to create.

Trust me Wine Witch, you will be afraid of the individual I am working on. I highly suggest you keep your distance…

Oh, and one more thing… Watch your ass: I have an incredible support family called BOOM backing me up!! 🌟 (P.S. They dislike you very much…)

More by this Author :

The Battle to Owning My Life at 4 months Alcohol-Free

Understanding FAB or an Ode to the Wine Witch

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