There is a quote that I read in my first few months sober that said quite simply– “If you’re going to stop drinking you have to stop drinking” — seemingly obvious right? But somehow it seems to be the hardest thing in the world for so many good people.

Have you ever felt trapped by alcohol? Trapped like this?

Alcohol doesn’t want me to stop today. It is trying to bully me into something I don’t want to do. It’s interrupting my thoughts to get me thinking of how easily I could stop at the store on the way to my son’s parent-teacher conference later. It really wants me to do that so that when I come home and cook dinner I can pour a glass and fade into my evening.

It is not what I want, though. Today I will stare down that bully. Even if it’s hard. It will be hard. It’s ok if it’s hard. 

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If you want to stay sober you learn it through the doing. But somehow it is the hardest thing to wrap around. Try writing a list of what your life will look like if you don’t drink today.

Imagine

If I stop drinking today…

I will have gotten through this slip without anything horrible happening. That’s not a certainty if I pick up another glass.

If I stop drinking today…

I’ll be refreshed by the end of the weekend.

If I stop drinking today…

I won’t make an unnecessary trip to a store and buy more wine than I meant to.

If I stop drinking today…

There is no wine or booze in the house and none needs to come in.

If I stop drinking today…

I’ll sleep better. Maybe not tonight, but soon.

If I stop drinking today…

I won’t be hiding anything from anyone.

If I stop drinking today…

My breath will smell better and my eyes won’t be red.

If I stop drinking today…

I might not be as silly or energetic with my son but I will be present and competent.

If I stop drinking today…

I’ll be able to concentrate on my work better.

If I stop drinking today…

Thoughts of opening a bottle earlier in the day will go away.

If I stop drinking today…

I will be weepy and tired but it will pass.

If I stop drinking today…

I won’t be trading one type of discomfort for another.

If I stop drinking today…

I’ll be working on a goal that makes me feel so much better.

If I stop drinking today…

I will be in control and safe from what alcohol does to me.

Look at the possibilities of what your life could be. The simple freedoms and the monumental ones. Write them down and own them. We have so many preconceived notions about ourselves. So much is based on others’ perceptions.

I am a drinker
Or
I can’t change
Or
Who am I kidding

I think shame keeps us bound. I love the analogy of Brene Brown’s shame Gremlin. First, it’s a little voice inside your head saying

I’m not good enough

and if you start to make positive changes, if you start to challenge shame it comes at you pretty quickly with its next fave line

‘oh really? And who exactly, do you think are?’

My mantra today:
I AM good enough. I AM a grown-ass adult who CAN make any change I see fit.

When things go wrong in my family, SHAME is the major headline.
My dad turns to the bottle and sleep in a cyclical and very tiring manner.
My mom gets bitchy and defensive, just in case an attack is required. A ‘don’t mess with me or I will mess you up’ vibe.

I drink too much too often because I carry around a big rucksack full of shame gremlins.

As we know our environment growing up shapes us. But it doesn’t have to define us. Ultimately we can pivot and change the story. We are worthy and it’s totally ok to do that. It feels so scary though. I don’t know why that is. But I think it might have to do with those shame gremlin voices telling us we aren’t good enough or we are getting too big for our britches and that is somehow frowned upon.

To allow ourselves freedom from alcohol is a big step toward allowing ourselves freedom from the past. To remove the shackles others have put us in and realise that we don’t have to walk around with that heavy armour anymore.

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This post was taken from the writing of the Boom Rethink the Drink Community member who wrote this:

Welcome to the Opening Ceremonies for the Sober Olympics

And the Boom Rethink the Drink Community member who wrote this:

You Deserve Another Chance – A Sober Dance

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