The Unexpurgated Truth About What Sobriety Can and Can’t Do

I have discovered the secret. The secret to a youthful appearance and a positive perspective. This secret that I have discovered is the key to everything that I once felt locked out of, everything that marketing experts relentlessly sell to my generation through a myriad of products and services. And this key is not only free, but it is the one thing that nobody mentions! Stop drinking alcohol. Just go sober!

In the information age, there seems to be a trick, tip, hack, or product for just about every aspect of life. A person could spend hours trying to sort out how to save money, improve their looks, improve their health, lose weight, and feel happier. They could also spend thousands of dollars each year on a myriad of products that promise instant improvement or a quick fix to life’s persistent problems.

Here is the secret. Go sober. Just that. Start skipping the cocktails at wine o’clock and discover the truth about what sobriety can do for you.

Let’s start with the thing that most people think leads to all other things


Stop drinking alcohol and SAVE money in piles.

I have saved $4,567 in the 21 months I’ve been alcohol-free. That’s a great financial reward for simply not doing one thing.

A recent issue of AARP magazine offered 99 ways to save money. There were tips on everything from growing your own vegetables from kitchen scraps to riding the train or bus in the middle of the night. The one thing that wasn’t mentioned in all of this sage advice: Stop drinking alcohol.


This is the Unexpurgated Truth about everything that sobriety can do for you, and that means:

Truth not amended or censored by removing potentially offensive material.

Why is it offensive to tell the truth about going sober? There is a reason that no one talks about going sober as the cure for everything that ails you. It’s not because stopping drinking isn’t the cure for everything that ails you, but because the alcohol industry is literally EVERYWHERE selling booze as a panacea.

If you think that is an exaggeration, please check out the information here:

Big Alcohol Exposed

The alcohol industry counter-acts its ‘responsibility’ messages through its own marketing campaigns and its commercial practices.

…their promotion of the concept of ‘responsible’ alcohol consumption is a harmful myth

Big Alcohol has accumulated a track record of opposing evidence-based, high-impact, cost-effective policy measures that would reduce alcohol use and protect more people from alcohol harm.

Big Alcohol is profit-driven by its statutes, and is compelled by company law to maximise profits for its shareholders. 

The alcohol industry tries to convey the message that non-users don’t genuinely matter and are not part of the social fabric and contemporary culture and tradition.

quotes taken from Discource Analysis – Movendi International – open Big Alcohol Exposed for more detailed information

It’s not just that we’re sold drinking as the spice of life, but we’re also sold the idea that anyone who stops drinking does so because they are suffering from the disease of alcoholism and have no other choice. Who would want to stop drinking alcohol if they had a choice? When we’ve been taught to believe that a life without alcohol is not a well-lived life, who could even imagine that sobriety is the key to joy in life?

Let me help you imagine just that! I’ll start by sharing my own experience of the unexpurgated truth about everything sobriety can… and can’t do.

Stop Drinking Alcohol and Look Younger Without Spending a Dime.

There are hundreds of articles and products that are supposed to improve your complexion and make you look more youthful. But one thing nobody mentions: stop drinking alcohol. It dehydrates your skin and makes rosacea and other skin conditions worse.

Stop Drinking Alcohol and Be Healthier!

Do you want to live longer? You can exercise, eat right, and take a lot of supplements. The one thing they forgot to mention that will keep you healthy longer: Stop drinking alcohol. It poisons every organ in your body and depletes essential nutrients.

Stop Drinking Alcohol and Be Smart and Happy!

Do you want to ward off depression, anxiety, and cognitive decline? You can Google this one all day long. Suggestions range from expensive supplements and brain-building games to advice from everybody and their mama (whether they are qualified or not) about everything but that one thing: Stop drinking alcohol. It f***s up your brain.

Stop Drinking Alcohol and Decrease Your Carbon Footprint With Elegance and Ease

Personally, I like the idea of saving money and diminishing my carbon footprint without spending my time swatting fruit flies away from my garbage garden and the plastic bags and paper towels I just washed out to reuse.  I’m far too lazy and hate bad smells.

I apologize to the truly eco-conscious people who are reading this, don’t get me wrong here. I don’t eat meat. I repurpose and reuse furniture. I made my kitchen countertop from wood that was discarded. I buy second-hand clothing as much as possible. I don’t own a clothes dryer or an air conditioner. We recycle. I just have a line I won’t cross unless I have to concerning bad smells and fruit flies.

Did you know though that the best thing that you can do to reduce your carbon footprint today is to go sober?

Big Alcohol is fueling the climate crisis. Water and food insecurity, environmental degradation, pollution, greenhouse gas emissions, and green-washing are part of the alcohol industry’s sustainability footprint

Read more from the researchers on how and why here : Special Feature: How Big Alcohol Is Fueling the Climate Crisis


This is the Unexpurgated Truth about everything that sobriety can and Can’t do

Buyer Beware!

Going Sober is Not Easy and it’s not a quick fix

When I first approached getting alcohol out of my life, I went at it the same way I do everything else. Go big or go home.

I read and listened to every quit lit book, watched every documentary, researched every harmful effect of alcohol, looked at the before and after pictures of people who quit alcohol, read all the anecdotes about relationships that were so wonderful without alcohol, and prepared myself for the first few weeks of quitting.

I was going to transform my life! Kicking the Wine Witch ‘s ass was going to change everything!

I was unprepared for how lousy I would feel physically and mentally for the first two weeks alcohol-free. I had no energy, cried all the time, had a headache and pretty much felt like I was never going to be okay again.

I was feeling fat so I thought it was a great idea to go on the Atkins diet the same day I quit drinking. Why not fix everything at once!?!? 💡

After three weeks of no booze and almost no carbs, I hated everything and everyone. I hated feeling feelings. I started wondering why I quit drinking alcohol and eating real food in the first place. Waaahhh!! Why was this so fucking hard?

I changed my approach. I needed sweet treats and pretty things for rewards instead of punishing myself. Maybe I should try focusing on one thing at a time.

I found an online community, BOOM Rethink the Drink, somewhere around the 4th week of my crazy, gung-ho, sober and skinny or bust approach.

I discovered that I wasn’t alone.

I also discovered that I had a lot of work to do. Perfectionism in every aspect of life was not working. Putting everything and everybody before my own happiness wasn’t working. Sobriety was not an instant fix to everything that ailed me.

Just not drinking didn’t magically make every aspect of my life wonderful. It did not improve my relationships. I did not instantly feel happy and content. Everthing Zen ? I don’t think so.

Reality started setting in around the fourth month alcohol-free. Being sober ripped off the rose-colored glasses! My husband really is a selfish asshole that expects me to do everything. My grown children treat me alternately like an emotional punching bag and a fairy godmother.

The wise people in the Boom community read my crazy Poodle Rants. I just put on my rhinestone collar, painted my toenails, fluffed up my hair and yapped like nobody was letting me out to pee. I was not running free with the wolves.

Around the 6th month alcohol-free, the kind and wise people here helped me discover the concept of setting boundaries.

I started setting boundaries.

Spoiler Alert⚠

All of the people that were used to getting their way didn’t like it!

I believe that by the end of the first year sober, the blowback had subsided as I refused to back down. I disregarded the criticisms labelling me a terrible person because I was no longer assuming additional responsibilities for others. I now had more time and a little bit of extra money, as I had ceased investing my time in tasks that were not my responsibility and using money to cope with my unresolved resentment.

Around the 16th month alcohol-free, for the most part, I quit feeling guilty every time I put my sanity and sobriety first or said no to unreasonable demands.

At 22 months alcohol free I can tell you that …

Quitting alcohol does not bring instant gratification. Your life will not instantly be great the minute you quit.

Quitting alcohol does not stop bad things from happening. Bad things will still happen. That’s how life works.

Quitting alcohol will not improve the people around you. You have no control over other people.

Quitting alcohol AND doing the necessary work WILL give you mental clarity, confidence, and inner peace. You will be able to appreciate the good things in life and be better equipped to handle the bad things.

If you are struggling today, let’s be AF together. Let’s get to bedtime without drinking. Today is all we have to think about.

I could go on about everthing else that improves like your relationships, sex life, overall happiness, and just about everything else if you just do that one thing nobody seems to mention. Stop drinking alcohol.  

Seriously, if you could improve every aspect of your life by doing one thing that is absolutely free, would you do that?  Will you do that thing that nobody mentions?

Will you join me AF?  I can’t promise instant results.  I can promise a better life and you won’t have to ride the bus in the wee hours to save money unless you want adventure.  

Forever is a long time. Today is manageable.

I am not an addict or an alcoholic. I do not have a physical need for alcohol. I would describe my unholy, unhealthy relationship with alcohol as a crutch that turned into an anvil.

My bad choices and failure to address my feelings, ADHD, OCD, and learning issues certainly contributed to the problem.

A lack of self- esteem and fear of what would happen if I set boundaries put the shiny icing on the ugly cake.

Statistically, 10 percent of people with an alcohol use disorder are physically addicted.

Do I want to test that statistic by drinking and seeing if I can come back from that again because I don’t think I am part of the 10 percent? Hell no!

Many of us considered ourselves grey/gray area drinkers. If you are wondering where you are on the spectrum these posts might help

How I Escaped the Trap of Gray Area Drinking

How I Launched my Escape from the Alcohol Prison – Thoughts from a former Gray Area Drinker

Walking Away from the Wine o’ Clock Routine

Letting go of Denial – Stop Drinking and Stay Sober on Your Terms

Denial vs Peace of Mind

Do you Want to Drink or Do you Need to Drink? – Dropping the Denial

More thoughts from members of our Boom Rethink the Drink Community on What sobriety can Do for You :

Perspective from Sober at 60

How to Break Free From the CAGE of Gray Area Drinking

If you’re “sober curious” …

If you are drinking too much too often and want to stop or take a break… Talk to Us

We are an independent, anonymous and private community who share resources, support and talk it through every day. It helps to have a community behind you in a world where alcohol is the only addictive drug that people will question you for NOT using

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