In my mind, I have always completely separated alcohol from “drugs” – they were two very different things to me. I would never dream of doing hardcore stuff like cocaine, heroin or meth – I mean, ever. Sadly, at times, I’d even look down my nose at drug addicts and marvel at what I considered their sheer lack of willpower. I’d pity them.
And yet, I steadily poured the mind-altering drug that is alcohol down my throat Every. Single. Day.
Why did I separate the two?
I think, from a very young age, we are taught that familiar mantra – “Don’t do drugs”. The ad campaigns for that were EVERYWHERE when I was a kid!
Remember the frying pan and the egg? “This is drugs. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?”
But the ads for alcohol were (and are) always so fun-loving and glamorous – and adult.
I may be dating myself here, but remember a young Bruce Willis and those Seagrams commercials? Oh my. I used to hum that theme song (and drool over Bruce) when I was in early middle school. Like other commercial jingles, they stick with you – except that booze commercials never give an accurate picture of what their product really does to you.
The Partnership for a Drug-Free America labored constantly to show that drugs can kill. It reveled in showing shocking images of needle-ridden addicted bodies being wheeled away on hospital gurneys. But, curiously, alcohol was never included in their campaigns.
Why? Because booze is a tremendously lucrative industry.
It’s The Big Lie. And we are fed it starting at a very young age – right there between our Saturday morning cartoons. From Bruce singing into a Seagrams bottle, to “Tastes great! Less filling!”… alcohol commercials provided some catchy ear-worms that found their way into our young subconscious.
The alcohol industry totes it’s product as your magical gateway from naive child to sophisticated adult (and, if you’re lucky, you’ll get Bruce or *fill-in-your-crush-here* as the cherry on top… or so I hoped!)
Later in life, after all those initial years of indoctrination by the drinking culture, it’s expected that you can “hold your liquor” and “keep up with the boys”. And if somehow your brain is one that doesn’t have an off-switch – you’re looked upon as weak, diseased, or even an excellent candidate for a “meeting”!
What confusion!
All those formative years leading up to your very first drink – the supposed pinnacle of adult life! – only to find that you can’t handle it!
(Little did you know that’s it not you that’s failed in this experiment, but it’s the very nature of alcohol that sparks your brain into craving more.)
Aaaaand, the kicker… once it’s deemed you have a “problem”, the very same drinking culture that lured you in, scoffs at your apparent weakness, questions you, and then dismisses you… as if you’ve somehow blown initiation into some exclusive, care-free adult drinking club!
Banished to the periphery in all your teetotaling awkwardness, you’re left sipping seltzer and explaining once again to the “normal drinkers” why you’re so defective. It’s no wonder it’s so hard to quit and “stay quit”, as we say! Who wants to be on the outside looking in?
So, put aside the physical science and brain-altering qualities of alcohol. While those are truly powerful factors that make booze hellish to escape – I would suggest that, even more so, it is the constant bombardment from the alcohol industry, and overwhelming social expectation, that grips us at a young age and makes it very hard to break those chains later on.
Think of all the subconscious grooming and external influences. The sexy, glamorous commercials and all that they promise: a respite from life’s problems, the reward after a long work week, the escape from rambunctious children, the cure for that recent break-up, the accepted (and expected) numbing while you grieve the loss of a loved one – on and on.
(Look at all you’ve been through! You deserve this, don’t you?)
Booze solves it all, AND now improves your heart health (in moderation, of course!)
Really. What can’t alcohol do, apparently?
It takes a tremendous amount of character to see through all of those myths – to lock eyes with all of it, stare it down, and say, “Not me. Not today.”
To embrace sobriety is to go against that prevailing current. It’s beating the beast. It is roll-up-your-sleeves work. No glamour involved. Real life, slogging through the muck to the other side.
It is gritty.
Yet somehow, here we are, trying to live alcohol-free. We are from all different backgrounds and in various stages of recovery, but we are making our way upstream – determined and aware of the truth!
Namely: that alcohol does none of the things they claim it does.
We really do shatter The Big Lie every time we take life head-on and sober, delving into it with all it’s uncomfortable “feels”. And pretty soon, the balance shifts from hazy, monotone days that bleed one into the next… to vivid, crystal clear days full of meaning and punctuated with discovery. The kind of days we had as kids, before the booze hook was set.
We find ourselves again… or maybe for the very first time.
Sure, there are days when remaining sober seems insurmountable, but there are also days when it is absolutely grand! Well, that’s life anyway, isn’t it? The difference with sober living is – this is True Life, unfiltered, and finally felt.
Taking life on life’s terms without a booze buffer is sooo counter-cultural! When we put down the bottle and navigate each day sober and fully present, the drinking culture gets a bit uncomfortable with us. The “industry” is a little nervous with the Sober Curious movement! We are foreign creatures! We are The Others (sounds gloriously ominous, doesn’t it?). And they are baffled by our resolve!
Well, let them be! Maybe they’ll join us someday!
That leads to a good question for me lately: what if we lived in a largely alcohol-free culture? No ads or magazine covers influencing us – no pressure at parties, no expectation of drinks with dinner, no odd looks or stammering excuses for why we stay sober. Just normal. What if AF was the norm, and *drinking* was unusual or frowned-upon? Would I struggle as much?
Honestly, I don’t think I would. It’s a question to sit with.
But now that I recognize the amount of money and effort the booze industry puts into keeping me hooked, it’s a whole lot easier to pass by the wine aisle – and even flip it the Sober Bird on occasion.
Yes, sometimes we feel like sober aliens living on a largely wasted planet – a small, oddball group (by the way, that’s part of The Big Lie too! We are actually a quickly growing and fabulous army!) – but what we are doing is absolutely momentous! We are taking on the gigantic multi-billion dollar alcohol industry and a miserable numbed-out culture! And with every sober hour, every ODAAT, every clear-headed morning, every promise kept, every relationship mended, every little personal victory to choose ourselves and our families over booze – we are slowly turning the tide against that Big Machine.
Stand tall with me today, and let’s rock Dry January! We are making beautiful progress, and we are so worth this fight! 💥
MORE FROM THIS AUTHOR
The Cost of Mommy’s Wine Time and How I Broke Free
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