Have you ever found yourself looking at those “before and after” images of people who have gone sober and wished the “after shot” was you? Those “after shots” are inspiring, but getting there always seemed impossible to me. 1000 days ago I remember looking at the mess I had made of my life and wondering how I would ever manage to clean it all up. It seemed to be an almost insurmountable task. How do you climb that mountain from deep below ground zero?
Honestly, though, becoming the “after shot” in the “before and after sober images” would have been insurmountable if I had tried to climb that entire mountain all at once. So I started small, and the only thing I did was to not drink in this one minute, this one hour, this one day. Over time, the minutes and hours and days added up. The mountain seemed less insurmountable.
One day at a time sober may sound dire and impossible but it works if you let yourself be human in each day. Think of it as progress not perfection. I tackled one problem at a time, and the mountain seemed smaller and smaller and smaller. I learned how to step back when I felt overwhelmed, and shared my feelings here on BOOM. One day at a time works if you let yourself be human.
It’s okay to be a mess!
The truth is that we are all human – mere mortals who are not actually able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, no matter how much we wish we could, AND THAT’S OKAY. It’s okay to be a mess. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to put “Get my life together” on the To Do list. It’s okay to take it all one step, one minute, one hour, one day at a time, as long as we don’t give up. Getting to the “after shot” in those “before and after” sober stories started with accepting that I’m only human.
When I was still drinking I never imagined how empowered living sober would make me. I stay empowered by looking honestly at my “before and after sober portrait”.
Before and After Sober – My body Tells the Story but in Different ways than I expected
Once upon a time, I was plagued by injuries. Skinned knees, unexplained bruises on my arms, shins, and hips, sore muscles, stubbed toes, and the occasional swollen lip or even black eye were not uncommon. My body hurt all the time.
These were the marks of my alcohol problem.
I would get so hammered on such a regular basis that I would run into things or fall, and even though I didn’t always remember what had happened, my body told the story about what I did the night before. Once, in college, I fell coming into my dorm room in the middle of the night and managed to both rug burn my cheek and open a gash immediately below my eye. For days afterward, women would approach me in public restrooms and ask me if I needed help because I looked like someone beat me up.
I did the best I could to hide anything people could potentially see, and tended my wounds in private, always promising myself that this was IT. No more drinking. At least, no more drinking so much. Then the bruises would fade and the scabs would heal and I’d be off on another binge.
This was my “before shot” in the “before and after sober shots”. Here is my after.
Today, at 1000 days sober, I am plagued by injuries. I have a pulled muscle in my back, every other muscle in my body hurts, and the little toe on my left foot is about twice the size it should be (not to mention it’s basically purple).
These are the marks of a body well-used.
I am no longer breaking myself down, I am building myself up.
I hurt my back wrestling with my son in the swimming pool on Sunday. My muscles ache because I tried a challenging new yoga flow on Tuesday and I’m still feeling the effects. My toe is swollen because I took a softball to the foot during my team’s double header last night.
Rather than feeling miserable and in pain, I feel strong and empowered. Yes, my body hurts, but my body hurts because I am using it, not because I am abusing it, and that is an entirely different kind of pain. My back reminds me that I played hard with my kid. The deep, satisfying ache in my muscles tells me I am getting stronger. My toe reminds me that I had a ton of fun last night (even if I did miss the ball).
I don’t have to tend these injuries in silence and shame. All I have to do is drink plenty of water, listen to what my body is telling me, and adjust my activity level accordingly. Rather than trying to drink the pain away, I have plans to sink into one of my favorite restorative yoga flows after work. I will stretch and care for my sore muscles, and I am already looking forward to how good that is going to feel.
There’s not much I can do about the toe except ice it and wait for it to heal, but hey, maybe next time I’ll catch the ball.
Dream Different! Let yourself imagine a truly empowered life
I always imagined that an empowered life would be one in which I could drink like others and “handle it”. I had a dream last night in which my brain tried to convince me that it’s ok to drink a bottle of champagne “from time to time.” A BOTTLE of champagne. I am going to be 3 years sober soon, and my brain still has no concept whatsoever of moderation. If that isn’t solid proof that I should never ever drink again, then I don’t know what is.
Dream Different! Let yourself imagine that living sober will become FUN
How does it feel to be 1000 days sober?
I went to a party on Friday night and had a freaking amazing time. I was out until 12:30 in the morning. I danced, had a ton of fun hanging out and talking to people, and no one offered me alcohol more than once. It’s amazing how easily the phrase, “No thanks, I don’t drink,” rolls off my tongue. It’s amazing how unashamed I am to say it. It’s amazing how little people actually care. Occasionally someone will raise their eyebrows and say, “Really?” but that’s as far as it goes. After over 2 1/2 years without alcohol, I know that response isn’t about me, but rather it’s about their own inability to imagine life without booze…to imagine FUN without booze.
I understand where they’re coming from. I felt the same way for a long time.
I’m here to tell you, friends, both are possible. If you’re struggling, keep going. Change happens one day at a time. Someday in the future you’ll realize how far you’ve come, and it will blow you away. You can do it.
Wishing you all the strength of perseverance today, friends. Hang in there, and remember, never, ever quit quitting.
More by this Author :
Sober Curious? Now That’s What I’m Talking About!
Does 1000 days sober seem insurmountable? READ MORE SOBER MILESTONE POSTS from our community HERE
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