When I stopped drinking for Dry Feb. in 2021, going sober for a month was not even my idea. My husband decided to commit to Dry Feb. first, and announced his intention in to me in December 2020. It took weeks of heavy drinking up to, and through the Christmas season and January, for me to decide that it would be a good idea for me to join him. My intention was to quit drinking for only the one month, partly to show that I could, and partly to just see if maybe I might feel better for it. I had big concerns about losing myself and somehow becoming “less” while being sober. Less interesting- less fun- less connected. Simply LESS.
I used to give booze a lot of credit that it did not deserve.
Our last drinks together as a couple were consumed on January 31, 2021. After the month of Dry Feb., my husband resumed drinking, although less than before, but decided to stay dry for another month or two. I was beginning to feel improvement in chronic health conditions that I had had for decades and decided to continue on the sober journey and see where it would take me. Now in November of 2025 I am still moving forward with my alcohol-free life and have no regrets at all to be sober.
People who have recently stopped drinking and are struggling to remain alcohol-free are often concerned that they will not be fun sober. Will they still fit in with their partner, friends who still drink, etc. I thought I’d share a bit about my own story and thoughts on that subject.
I’ve found being sober is a huge boost to my self confidence. Daily drinking was eroding it down to nothing. I have taken my personal power back now instead of drinking it away and allowing others to call shots in my life. It does feel scary and awkward at first to not have those habitual drinks but man-o-man are the rewards ever worth the struggle!
I was fortunate to spend some time with old friends recently. A couple that my husband and I have known for decades and spent lots of time with. Becoming AF and no longer fitting with these folks and “being one of the cool kids” was a very real fear of mine at the outset.
I realize that my friends are free to make their own choices in life, but I am disappointed when our get togethers revolve around their next drink. We met up at a brew pub, then went to the restaurant for dinner with wine for them, then back to their hotel room for night caps.
Conversation became repetitive and I wished we could have more meaningful discussion. I can see my old self in them and their behaviour and I can remember being exactly the same. Getting together with friends (or anyone really) became all about drinking. Now that seems so boring and disappointing to me. I begged off to let my dog out after dinner, I had had enough of being around the drinkers.
When I am with my old drinking friends I still enjoy myself. But I’m not worried at all about not fitting into their drinking culture. In fact I feel extremely fortunate and blessed to be the sober one in the group. I feel healthier by far than when I was drinking. I have lost weight and am much more active. I feel younger rather than older, and my brain works much better than it did.
You’ll never know what’s possible for yourself unless you give it a shot.
Why did I believe the FALSE narrative that red wine is “good for me”?
It did NOT make me “funnier”… just obnoxious.
It did not give me permission to tell someone the “Truth”… just made me callous.
Why did I think I NEEDED a drink to speak my mind?
I thought when I stopped drinking that I would become the dud at the party. Nope. Nope. Nope. People now comment that I look healthier, and wonder what my secret is? When I start with, “I kicked the can 4 years ago”, I know that some people don’t want to hear it, but that is, in fact, my secret.
What I now know is that I am more really and truly myself sober than I ever was after drinking. I still laugh out loud and make snappy comments. I still swear (probably too much) and I have a lot of fun. BUT now I remember everything that I say and do. I don’t wake up with bleary eyes, sick stomach, and dread of what I may have done or said the night before.
How do I handle the holiday season sober? I drank very heavily that last holiday season in 2020 ….oh my!! It may be a huge empowering thing to now see yourself outside of that behaviour, and see it for the self limiting thing that it was for you. That is how it has been for me. Now I feel calm relief that alcohol is no longer a part of my celebration. My family and friends still drink but once I’ve had enough of their company I fade away to the cocoon of my room with my dog, tea and a good book !
If you are just starting out I hope this may help to put your fears to rest. Yes, things will change with you and your buddies that are still drinkers, but it may not be in the way that you fear.I have a much stronger sense of self, I listen more to my intuition and it has become louder the more I pay attention and no longer drown it in booze. I set boundaries with my family members and friends and I am learning new things! I have much more independence and overall feel much more satisfaction and contentment in my life. These are real gifts that I had not expected from a sober life. Becoming AF opens the way for a much richer life experience.
More by this author :
Find Your Way Out – Let’s Get Real About Dangerous Drinking
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Online Community Support to Stop Drinking – BOOM!
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