My wife, who I’ve been with 25 years, was recently diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer that has spread to her lungs. She was put on a clinical trial but the prognosis means we are taking it a month at a time. After the diagnosis I found myself drinking every day. I couldn’t stop. This wasn’t unusual for me, but I kept thinking what if my wife needed to be driven to hospital at short notice? What if the worst happens and I’m not here for my 2 year old daughter? I can’t imagine. I knew the booze would have to go but I just couldn’t stop opening that bottle every evening .

I wanted to improve my health both physically and mentally. I wanted to be totally present for my wife and daughter. I knew I needed to be available to drive at any point, so eventually I thought, I’ll need to quit drinking entirely. But I wasn’t ready to give up alcohol 100%.

I decided that not drinking EVERY SINGLE DAY would be a great start. Sadly that was easier said then done. My wife who was not a big drinker had quit completely, so I was just doing my usual and drinking on my own. It wasn’t getting worse. I wasn’t depressed and drinking in the morning. But it wasn’t getting any better either.

I deciced to try 100 days alcohol-free. Non-negotiable. 100 days sober, no matter what.

How I Started – STAYING Sober – and Few Challenges I’ve Faced Along the Way

Over several years of trying to get my drinking under control, I’ve had quite a few day 5’s sober, maybe even a day 7 here and there. In April 2026, several months after my wife’s diagnosis, I committed to 100 days alcohol-free. One Hundred days of giving up alcohol, 100% non-negotiable. This time, I really needed to stick to this, and I put everything into it. I had a full operating model in place—reminders, checklists, podcasts, books, tracking, etc.

Perhaps too much “project management,” but I like a system to tell me what to do.

I’d already learned the skills to beat cravings. I decided to attempt my “stop drinking” approach as a project with Trello. I put in short term goals. Since I had my project plan on my phone I planned to remind myself of the milestones. I also made cards for why I’m doing this, and references.

Beginning Week 2 Alcohol-Free – Simple Pleasures

By day 8 of my 100% no alcohol, non – negotiable 100 day challenge, I was up at 6.00am feeling light and wonderful, really ready to face the day. The night before, I’d been out painting a beehive at 7pm instead of sitting and drinking beer. Then at 8.30pm after doing all the dishes, I was planting seeds in my study (which needs a complete tidy-up!) In bed with a book at 10pm, read two pages and asleep. Technically only got 5.5 hours sleep, but I felt amazing for it.

Wow I didn’t realise I was an early bird. It’s nice to be able to get up before anyone else, do a few chores (did I really say that!) like meal planning, making bread, drinking coffee, journaling. Such simple pleasures. I knew that somehow I had to hold onto this feeling for as long as I could. I decided to use the power of daily journaling to try and do that! I had some tests ahead not the least of which was a camping weekend is looming.

Alcohol-free challenge #1 – Home Alone

On day 10 of my 100 day non-negotiable sober challenge I found myself home alone with my dear wife out on the town. This would usually be a cue for me to get on the booze. Open wine, watch football, YouTube, or just scroll. Numb myself to switch off from the world, relieve boredom. Possibly fall asleep on the sofa.

I kicked that to the curb. I was productive, made sure all the dishes were done, and picked up a few little tasks on sowing more seeds for the vegetable garden. I even got round to sorting most of my seeds out by decanting them into these cute little seed packets. Being productive from 9-10pm instead of being a vegetable myself. I think there is some sort of analogy here; sort out the seeds of life and you will thrive, grow and bloom.

Beginning of week 3 Alcohol-Free – Remembering WHY I’m doing this

At 14 days alcohol-free I stepped back to remember WHY I’m doing this. – Being steady for life at home – There is enough turmoil in our household with major health issues as it is, without me drinking and causing more. Who am I to keep pouring poison into myself willingly when my wife is suffering. I also need to be there for her in a crisis, not an incoherent mess by midnight, unable to drive and often unable to speak. This is a harsh truth.

But equally, I’m doing this for me, not for her. I don’t want to build any form of resentment to her for not having my precious poison. Overall the past two weeks have been better, but the danger now is proving this alcohol-free, day to day, is sustainable, especially as many social and work (social) occasions are looming.

By day 19 I was GRATEFUL at 1:30 am. My three year old daughter woke-up with disturbed sleep, which is rare. She needed a bit of comforting, that’s my job. The previous me would have slept through her calling, until my wife pushed me out of bed. Then stumbled in to her waking from a deep drunken slumber, barely able to function.

Last night I woke alert, able to cuddle and calm her without it being a complete blur. I noticed the difference. Perhaps she didn’t, but I know children pick-up on a lot. Anyway, just a short anecdote on why being sober is the right path.

I was totally determined to make it to 3 weeks. and now had a weekend camping trip looming. It would usually be a boozy affair, but I had dropped hints that I wouldn’t be drinking.

Alcohol-free challenge #2 – Camping

On day 39 I was getting ready to go camping sober. I go camping a lot. This camping trip, was with someone who is big time fun and also a big time drinker. I love the guy, and he has an amazing family. Only a few months ago, me and him were sitting out till midnight, knocking back drinks and stumbling over.

So I had to break the news to him that I woudn’t be drinking that weekend, which was going to be tough, because normally we would probably be starting drinking together from midday and carrying right through the weekend pretty much non-stop. And it was just my family and his family on this trip, so my anouncing that I would not be drinking was going to be extremely weird.

I was pretty apprehensive about the whole situation. Not apprehensive because I thought I would drink, just apprehensive because I like these people, and we’re not super close. So I wanted to try my best to not come across as boring.

The day before leaving on the camping trip we were exchanging messages and here’s how part of it went:

Friend:
Am I bringing whisky or rum??? It is pirates weekend after all 😜”

Me:
I’m off the booze, but we shall see!”

Friend:
Will stand down on the rum and whiskey then! Well done!“

I realized in that moment that my friends will always be friends and booze isnt the only thing we have in common. Society and general views are shifting to perceive taking a break from alcohol as not a stupid idea, its actually a good thing. Finally, I was a bit disappointed with my response “but we will see!”. I didn’t mean it, but it was my concession to my friend. I had no intention of drinking. I realized need to be more bold and own my decision.

While sitting round the campfire the next night, something trivial was cracking us up, really making us giggle. I caught myself acknowledging, that – hey I’m totally sober, but still contributing and participating in the banter, jokes and joy of the occasion. Reflecting on that night I’m totally shocked.

Beginning of Week 6 – Things are So Much Better

6 weeks in. Its not easy, but I’m loving it. When I say its not easy, I really mean it too. I’m constantly facing new challenges I’ve not faced before and tackling them head on.

Last night I was up to midnight, which I don’t think I’ve managed in the whole six weeks I’ve been sober. Before I stopped drinking, with booze every night, midnight was my usual bedtime. I woke up a bit tired this morning after that late night but realized at 7am, I’d still had nearly 7 hours clean and restful sleep. Waking up to face the day with zero hangover. Literally zero. No scale of slight grogginess through to physically sick. Literally clean and clear and fresh.

The sun was shining, it was 22C at 9am, and life genuinely feels so much better. It took about 30 minutes then dawned on me just how much better I felt.

Food tastes better, especially breakfast!

When I was drinking EVERY SINGLE night I would always skip breakfast. I would just think I wasn’t a breakfast person. I’d just drink a coffee, or two and try and shrug off the hangover and power into the day.

Just a couple of weeks booze free I could tell I needed some nourishment. My body craved breakfast. And boy does it taste good. Simple pleasures like yoghurt, walnuts and a dash of honey, topped with blueberries. Absolute bliss. Its like my taste buds have come alive. My mind boggles, that my hungover body would reject something so delicious and nutritious.

Simply unreal the knock on affect the poison would have.

How Long Will I Keep This Going For ?

60 days in now, and I’m pretty pleased with that. It’s probably the longest I’ve gone in about five years without drinking. Without a doubt, the longest in five years.

Overall, I feel like I’m doing a good thing. One thing I’m also thinking about is that I don’t really know how long I’m going to keep this going for. Not because I don’t enjoy it, and not because I don’t think I can do it, but because I don’t really see myself as someone who doesn’t drink. It’s such a big part of culture and what I’ve been used to for so long.

That said, I’m starting to get my head around the idea of not drinking. I’ve made it to 60 days and I’m pretty sure I’ll make it to 90, and probably 100 as well.

There’s a lot of people who can’t do this, and I do feel proud that I’ve managed it. At the same time, I’m not totally sure what I’m aiming for long term. The strange thing is it’s actually getting easier. I don’t go straight into that “need a drink after work” feeling anymore, which used to be very real for me.

Some situations are still harder than others, but on the whole it’s improving. I suppose that’s the danger in a way. But for now, it’s 60 days done, and I’ll keep going and see if I can get another month in the books.

Beginning of Month 3 Sober – Tackling the Impossible Alcohol-Free!

Its 1am in Austin,Texas and I’ve just got back to the hotel from a bar crawl on the party strip. I’ve been dancing, laughing, jumping around like a lunatic. Absolutely and completely sober. Not a drop of alcohol. I’m still buzzing from the experience. Oh and I watched England win a World Cup game SOBER. I looked in the bathroom mirror and smiled. I feel on top of the world!

A work trip to the US has always been fueled by late nights, booze and regret. This SOBER work trip has been something I couldn’t have fathomed doing just a few months ago. I have pledged to stay alcohol-free at least for now so I didn’t booze on plane, had a clear head landing in US, showed up motivated at work, jet lag was manageable, socializing in control, didn’t booze at dinner, didn’t booze in the bar, didn’t booze at live music venue, and I’ve had an outstanding time! I’ve been to bars and line dancing and able to speak coherently all evening. I awaking tired because of the jetlag, but feeling motivated and without a single ounce of regret. Still out as late as anyone else. Still a reputation of being fun.

Observing all of these activities sober, and imagining if I was drinking, I’ve also truly realised I can’t drink like other people. On the plane 1-2 beers would not have been enough. At the work dinner 2-3 drinks would not have been enough, and would have been way too slow. At the club, same situation. Unbelievably I would have likely stashed alcohol at the hotel and carried on by myself until I passed out in the early hours of the morning.

Even writing this shocks me, but it doesn’t. I lived that work life for a couple of decades, and I got away with it.

I’m now functional on 3 hours jet lagged sleep. I don’t stink of booze, which I realize I must have.

Sure I’ve been back to my hotel by 11pm, which isn’t late, but honestly if it was 2am and I was sober, I can hold my head up high to any scrutiny from anyone. Being sober means I can do anything I want, be out as late as I want, go where I want, and there is no way a boss, colleague, or anyone else will have any dirt or gossip on me. It’s a hard thing to explain, just how liberating that is.

So how long have I been sober? 66 days today! I’ve flipped back and forth so many times from thinking about needing to quit, to then trying to quit, to then failing, then needing to quit again. Where I’ll be tomorrow I don’t know, but today I’m not drinking!

Non-negotiable. 100% Alcohol-Free.