One thing I have always been terrified of when I thought about knocking the booze on the head was ‘what if I lose my edge?’ I have always considered myself a rocker of sorts, I lived the life of excess and experienced all the ups and downs that came with it. A part of me felt as though going clean was betraying that life. My other biggest fear was that I would become stagnant on the ‘scene.’ No longer the Ace Face and then, who would be attracted to me? Would I still be attractive at all?
I’m not going to lie to you. I’m not top boy anymore, I don’t go out to the pub on the weekend, I’m in bed for 9.30pm and I’ve not had sex for four weeks. Not sounding great is it? All of my fears seem to have come true.. ish.
Yesterday I went shopping for the first time in forever and bought myself a new leather jacket and a pair of sunglasses. I detest shopping centers and the animals they attract. Often choosing to shuffle along with my shoulders hunched and head down so as to avoid any interaction with, well, anyone. Yesterday was no different until I caught my reflection in a store window and to my surprise, I wasn’t shuffling at all. It was a stride, verging on a full-blown swagger, confidence personified and at that moment I stopped in my tracks and had a look around. I was one of the very few people if you can call them that, which were not out of breath, pasty faced, sweating, angry or shuffling!
I swear right now I have a newfound ability to spot a hangover from five hundred yards away and it’s ever so much fun! I laughed as I thought to myself, I’m 30 years old and I’m looking better than I ever have. I’m still rocking cowboy boots, I dropped an inch off my waist, I have money in the bank and I am feeling fresh! That’s pretty fucking Rock n Roll if you ask me!
Good vibes get you noticed too! It might not be as easy as picking someone up at a bar, in fact, it’s downright hard work. It takes patience, and a lot more balls to initiate a conversation sober, but building your confidence by putting yourself out there and getting noticed is definitely a good start.
And Today? What a great start to the day!
First one of the girls in accounts commented on my ‘lovely’ physique, then my Boss’s wife popped in and started complimenting me on how ‘healthy and fit’ she thinks I’m looking, before throwing me a flirty little wink and a smile just as my Boss walked through the door. Needless to say, he didn’t look as impressed as she did.
I don’t know whether I’m getting paid, laid, or fired today but whatever I’m doing, it’s working… Even if I might not be for much longer.
You don’t NEED alcohol, confidence doesn’t come in a bottle, it’s already inside you.
Embrace it the way the 80’s embraced Double Denim & Snakeskin Boots.
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