The Runaway Train

So we start a little journey on a fun-looking train,
not sure where its destination is
but it looks cool and exciting.

We get off at our designated stop
to go home safe and sound.

We get on this same train again and again.
It takes us on a pleasant journey
and we disembark as usual
when time to do so.

As we get older we continue to board the train
but the pressure of work and family
make us miss our stop as we fall asleep.

We worry a little but carry on to the next station.
That wasn’t so bad we tell ourselves,
just a bus ride home
or a walk
and we’re fine.

The next time this happens is a few nights later.
A terrible day at work makes us fall asleep again
and this time we miss two stops.

The next time it’s three.

It’s a long walk home at 2 am,
we’re lonely
and our head is telling us how stupid we are
and how much we deserve to have to walk home,
scared and lonely.

The next week or so we’re careful not to fall asleep
but after a while, it happens again.
This time the train seems to be going faster and faster
and we go to see the driver in a panic.

There is no one there.
It’s a runaway train and we realise we’re not the one in control.

How the hell are you going to get off this thing?

You manage to grab the controls and slow the train down,
it takes an age
and all your might
and you think you might pass out or die from the pain
and the energy it demands of you to stop the train.

But if you can slow it down just enough to jump off at the next station…

It slows,
you gather up all your remaining strength and faith
and jump.
It feels like you’re jumping into the unknown.

In reality
you landed on the platform crumpled in a heap,
you’ve broken bones
and you’re sure people can see you.

You’re embarrassed,
you feel so unworthy and a mess
But, you’re still alive.
You got off that runaway train.
You realise you should feel proud!
You realised the danger and made a choice
Wow….you were strong enough to jump to safety….this time!

You’re not sure how to get home now
but you limp along,
people try and help you and you let them,
reluctantly.
Eventually, you feel better
and decide you need to make your train journey again

You notice the runaway train is still running.
How could this be?
Perhaps they fixed it?
You felt sure it was going to crash.
Perhaps you imagined it?
But then those feelings
of fear and pain and anguish and desperation
come flooding back
and although scared you smile and realise
YOU are never catching that train again!

You know that although the outside looks lovely
and the epitome of class
an enjoyable ride!
It’s anything but.

As people get on that train
you realise you feel sorry for them
and consider telling them not to board.

You try talking to a few people but realise they aren’t listening and they look a bit annoyed.
They are listening to music on their headphones
and aren’t willing to remove them.

Nothing you can do,
it’s their journey.
Perhaps they don’t fall asleep
and always get off at the right stop.
That’s great for them
but it’s not for you you say.

Sadly
you wonder what you’re going to do
Then as the train leaves you spot another train
It doesn’t look quite as enticing,
it looks a little plain
but you find out it will go past your stop.
So you decide to give it a go.
Cautiously you board
and once inside
You’re pleasantly surprised.

The seats look lovely and plush
and the decor is fresh and modern.
There are plenty of seats
and a table in front of each for you to put your stuff.
You choose a window seat
and sink down in luxury you didn’t expect.
As the train sets off
you brace yourself
for a long slow boring journey.
But you’re pleasantly surprised at the normal speed.

Also,
bonus!
you notice the scenery is beautiful and colourful.
You’ve never noticed how colourful the scenery could be before.

Wow the view is so different over here.
It puts you in a better mood.

You don’t feel as tired
which is new to you,
And even though you might be stressed
you use the table in front of you and lay out your books
and work out how to tackle your stress,
Rather than fall asleep.

You feel more in control and grateful,
You notice you are enjoying the journey,
you feel safe.
You just boarded the sobriety train.