Feeling Mum Shame

I Lost my temper
I Swore
Over what he wore

My son again,
he’s stressed as hell
Sees only rain
Now he’s stressing me as well

Hand in your homework
“Mum that’s not how it works”
Tuck in your shirt
I’ve told you 10 times
Put on your tie
“I can’t do it mum!” he angrily cries
“You do it it’s simple”
Son I can’t whilst I drive!
Why didn’t you do it before we walked out the door
“I’m sorry I didn’t think”
Of course!
“I’ve got so much on my mind
Going to have a horrible day!”

No darling think of it this way
It’ll be ok
Focus on the good things
and the bad stuff ?
It sometimes goes away

You have your cats
A friend coming for tea
That was news to me (lol!)
And Grandma is coming today
Ok now please tuck your shirt in

I see him not wanting my help
Struggling

Now walking back
I’m feeling “mum shame”,
for making things worse,
causing him (minor) pain.

I want to throw
my hands in the air
Say I give up
I don’t care

The alcohol voice,
now a welcome sound
Saying “Darling it’s too hard,
come put the stress down
You deserve to feel better
Here let me help
Just pour a drink
It’ll feel better, than anything else….”

Why?

Why when I’m down
are you always around?
I keep telling you I don’t need you,
I’m trying to break up
When when will you give up!?

It’s Sober September
I need to remember:
Things will improve
You just have to move
Step by step in the right direction
Away from the booze
And not get stuck drinking
Then staring into a wine glass
At your forlorn and lost reflection
These feelings
however upsetting and unpleasant
They’ll pass
Please listen
And heed this lesson

Your day,
It’s like a line graph
With peaks and troughs
Don’t drown in wine
When it all kicks off
I know for now it’s tough
But your mood will improve
Soon enough! 💖🌈🙂

This poem was composed by Floss The author of The Runaway Train and Nailing the Narcissist

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