Remembering to save my Life

The blackouts now
were very real
Thank god I was never
behind the wheel

My lying
was catching up with me
Never did I really see
How much
the booze was affecting me

But now
I saw that my brain was involved
That’s scary to me
As I’m getting old

Not only
am I on the floor
I can barely remember
the night before

No warning signs on some occasions
But BAM I’m down
Such an invasion
to my mind and thoughts

The worst was on a holiday
All inclusive , nothing to pay !
Fill your boots they’d say
Blackout drunk on the steps I lay

Ashamed with guilt,
remembering that day .
My eldest saw me carried away
A stitched up knee in the A&E

Never again!
I confessed through my tears
Sadly ,
a promise broken
until a few years later
when I saw the light
It had to end , this endless fight
Of pointless destruction
Killing my brain
Since November 18
Never again!

Will I self distruct ?
I’m in this for the long haul
I owe it to myself
In my 56th year
To give it my best
Boom
Thank god , you’re here

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