Fallen Rose in the Rain

Remembering to save my Life

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The blackouts now
were very real 
Thank god I was never
behind the wheel 

My lying
was catching up with me 
Never did I really see
How much
the booze was affecting me

But now
I saw that my brain was involved 
That’s scary to me 
As I’m getting old 

Not only
am I on the floor 
I can barely remember
the night before
 
No warning signs on some occasions 
But BAM I’m down 
Such an invasion
to my mind and thoughts

The worst was on a holiday
All inclusive , nothing to pay !
Fill your boots they’d say 
Blackout drunk on the steps I lay
 
Ashamed with guilt,
remembering that day . 
My eldest saw me carried away 
A stitched up knee in the A&E
 
Never again!
I confessed through my tears 
Sadly ,
a promise broken
until a few years later
when I saw the light 
It had to end , this endless fight 
Of pointless destruction
Killing my brain 
Since November 18
Never again!

Will I self distruct ?
I’m in this for the long haul 
I owe it to myself 
In my 56th year
To give it my best 
Boom 
Thank god , you’re here 


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