I have heard that when we drink too much there is always a reason. There is always a story as to why we lost control and a story as to how we won our freedom. Once Upon a Real Life is my story- The story that tells the tale of my drinking to excess and eventually going sober. It is a story that ends with a new beginning.

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Once upon a time there was a little girl who wanted her life to be a fairy tale. However, she never thought she was good enough. She worked so hard to make everyone happy all the time. She thought that this was the only way that anyone would love her, or even notice her. If she wasn’t nice, or happy, or doing something for others she thought she was worthless. 

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Growing up, she was similar to other princesses, but she learnt to hide things that bothered her. When these things became especially bothersome, she would drink as it made things quiet. She knew she could do more and she got a little brave again and started going on adventures. She found a wonderful Prince and she found herself fighting alongside her prince for peace and justice. Sometimes in very scary and dark Kingdoms where things were not right. And some of the dragons she slayed alongside her prince were scary and mean, and they caused deep scars that she hid away. And when they bothered her she drank wine. 

And she grew older. She married her prince and become queen of her kingdom. People from outside her kingdom thought her kingdom was amazing. It was filled with adventure, and sharp witted subjects that took the world by the storm. She had a job that took her on great adventures and pushed her to accomplish missions that were harder and harder. And she felt like she had to keep taking on these missions because, really, it was the only way she felt worthy as a Queen. She still hated her huge mishapen body and scars from early battles hurt. So she drank to quiet them. And to quiet the voice that spoke louder and louder every day that she was not good enough. 

People from other kingdoms continued to admire her kingdom. When she pointed out all of the kingdom’s flaws, other people told her they weren’t there. Then she pointed out all her own flaws and showed everyone she wasn’t worthy of being a Queen. They did not believe her. But she could not believe them. So, she drank more and more alongside her King. But it no longer made her flaws go away and the flaws in her kingdom silently grew. The subjects of her kingdom sensed the Queen hated herself and drew further away from her because they didn’t understand. 

The queen kept trying to reach out to show the world all the flaws so they would help her fix her kingdom. But they still could not help. So, the Queen withdrew and spent more and more time drinking. Yes, her kingdom was still prosperous and visitors to the Kingdom thought all was well. But the Queen knew it was not right. 

Finally, after many years, and much work on resolving all of her flaws and trying to perfect her misshapen and horrible body, the Queen decided that the only thing left to try was to stop drinking. It was no longer working to hide the flaws and quiet the scars. She started to believe it might actually be causing them. And there was nothing left for her to try. But going sober.

She stopped drinking. And it was hard. The King no longer understood his Queen and felt betrayed. But she still stayed the course and did not drink. 

And slowly, over time, her scars started to heal. They didn’t disappear, but they didn’t seize her in fear and indecision, or make her wake in the middle of the night doubting her skills and her leadership. 

She began to see her flaws in a new way. Most of the flaws were tiny. Some were not, but they all made her the strong and powerful Queen she was. She began to find that some of them were actually strengths that made her stand out. Sober she could she herself with clarity and compassion.

She began to look in the mirror and not see a deeply misshapen body. But a powerful, strong, remarkable body that had helped her subjects thrive. It had propelled her as a fierce warrior along many journeys and across many lakes. It had helped her withstand battles and held her steady through many waves. 

Today, the Queen is not perfect. But today the Queen loves her Kingdom. She is so proud of what her Kingdom has become and what it can still be. She is hopeful for the future of her reign and sees that the entire time she had so much more power than she ever believed. Her subjects, while not always well behaved, are loyal, open and deeply passionate about their world. They have her strength and she loves them. 

The Queen knows that Fairy Tales are real. They come true. But it takes time. And this queen is willing to wait. 

The End ? …

no …

A New Beginning

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More by this Author :

Lessons From the Middle of the Lake in Year 3 Sober

Sober I am no Longer the Victim in the Tragedy of my own Making

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How do you go Sober? ( more reading in blue titles)

B Be accountable Talk to Us We Understand
A Avoid alcohol like the plague  Ideas Here
L Let yourself enjoy regular sober treats  Ideas Here
A Allow yourself to cry when needed  Ideas Here
N Nourish your body with good food  Ideas Here
C Create happy & fun memories  Ideas Here
E Enjoy the precious moments in your day Ideas Here

W Work hard to get what you want Ideas Here
O Organise things for less stress  Ideas Here
R Realise you can’t control it all Ideas Here
K Keep going & prepare for success Ideas Here
S Sleep enough for body & mind rest Sleep Solutions