I stopped drinking alcohol back in September of 2019. I had no idea how precious my sobriety would become to me in 2020. With the ongoing Covid-19 crisis and the current protests happening due to George Floyd’s death; trauma and instability have been the key words of this new decade. On Saturday night I was up late watching the riots in my city. As I watched a police car burn on the television, I could smell the same smoke coming through my open windows although it was a beautiful night weather wise. As a society and as a people, it was a hellish night all over the United States. 

I sat scared, as my kids slept soundly in the next room. I had complex thoughts and feelings in regards to how to talk to them about the situation in the morning. I pondered what it is to be a person of color in this world, and how I would explain this to my children. To live as a person of color, with a true and constant fear for their treatment and safety in this world. At that point I feel that I was able to bring empathy into the equation and move beyond the selfish and personal fear however valid those feelings are.

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It is important to me to hold both the personal and the greater simultaneously. To not shirk the personal responsibility of doing my part to stay sober and be the person I value in this world. To expand my sphere to include empathy for those that hold identities different than mine. To those who face persecution as a result of their identities and to do my part to end the inequality and hate. It is difficult for me to balance my personal responsibility and my responsibility as a member of the human race without having one invalidate the other.

I have more questions than answers but here are some loosely constructed thoughts and feelings that I’ve pondered as I sit here this morning.

At greater than eight months sober I feel that I am ready to expand my sphere of responsibility in a more complete way.  I want to stress that your responsibility to yourself first and foremost is to protect your quit, so right now may not be the time for you to expand on your responsibilities depending on where you are in your sobriety. Alcohol is not a foe that needs my attention when there’s so much evil in the world. Booze seems to be a tool to distract or escape from reality; this would be welcomed in some ways however it is a strong contributor to the problems we face at present.

Alcohol has not only fueled misdirected and unhelpful anger in these times of atrocity, it’s also fueled complacency in me. It strikes me that alcohol can be insidious, and incite negative outcomes as much as viruses and racism can, it is also a great contributor to both.  

I write with a heavy heart for the oppressed, marginalized, and mistreated in this world. However I write with gratitude for sobriety and a clear mind as these are empowering a wounded heart and soul into action. I send my thoughts and love to you all as you work through your struggles.

Be good to each other

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How do you go Sober? ( more reading in blue titles)

B Be accountable Talk to Us We Understand
A Avoid alcohol like the plague  Ideas Here
L Let yourself enjoy regular sober treats  Ideas Here
A Allow yourself to cry when needed  Ideas Here
N Nourish your body with good food  Ideas Here
C Create happy & fun memories  Ideas Here
E Enjoy the precious moments in your day Ideas Here

W Work hard to get what you want Ideas Here
O Organise things for less stress  Ideas Here
R Realise you can’t control it all Ideas Here
K Keep going & prepare for success Ideas Here
S Sleep enough for body & mind rest Sleep Solutions