I’m reflecting back from 100 days sober on what alcohol gave me. Alcohol gave me guilt for missing a sunny day completely, or having to call into work hungover. Drinking was absolute masochism for me. Good riddance alcohol !
Every week since that utterly terrifying, deer-caught-in-the-headlights moment when I heard the rare, unexpectedly calm, and usually too silent voice inside of me whisper …
no more booze
… every week has had it’s own flavor. From horror show to love story.
It is sometimes easy, mostly frightening, and definitely taken moment by moment with openness toward what would be shown to me.
I have yet to wrap my mind around putting my full sober story into connecting words, but today is different. At 100 days sober there’s urgency. A deadline for a piece of the puzzle due on The Uber AF (alcohol-free) Project of 2020. And, yes, I was gifted this Big Project at the cusp of a pandemic where liquor stores were soon to be declared essential businesses by our governmet —a stark philosophical contradiction to the DUI court paperwork issued by the same government that are sitting on my desk.
The pandemic, and now the demonstrations, what a time to go sober eh? On day 93 alcohol free I posted this as my city burned:
The things I’m hearing outside my window right now are utterly terrifying and I’m really scared. All my effort has been going to building better stress coping strategies and a trial by fire right now is just not helpful.
Yet I stayed sober that night and woke the next morning ready to quietly help sweep up the mess and keep moving forward-
It was a really tough night, interrupted and little sleep. I woke exhausted as well, but miraculously also as dry as sawdust, on day 94, and intent on letting the mind reflect, while letting the body join the community clean-up crews with local friends. This is the way it needs to be many believe. No other ways has worked, it seems.
From downward spiral to forward momentum. 101 days ago I woke up full of doubt. The night before I had a drink and then another and another and another. Wash, rinse, repeat. Woke up hungover once again.
But Today at 100 days sober I …
✓ woke groggy and stiff at 8:00am with a glass of water, lemon, and intention to cut out more negative self-talk (“on a Saturday!” you exclaim. Yes!) (new-ish routine)
✓ drove to get fruit, veggies and groceries
✓ laid around with the cat (self care)
✓ rode my skateboard to a peaceful protest where an unprecedented amount of people showed up, walked for 8 miles and rode home (more exercise)
✓ got a friendly text message telling me a friend saw me and I “look amazing!” …wow!
✓ had another friend ask me to chat and social distance at a park close by, out of the blue. Ok! They brought a bottle of wine. I didn’t really want any. I’ll say that again, I really didn’t want any. I didn’t have any. Had a great conversation and took some fun pictures.
✓ got a call from an important person and Big Crush I hadn’t talked to in 3-4 years and we talked for 2 hours! Started overthinking and shut that down as quickly as I could using all the mind tricks I’ve been developing these past three months. Phew.
✓ ate a fruit tart with whipped cream
I think I did everything ok today. I know every day isn’t going to be great… so the days that are, I’m making sure that I celebrate them and acknowledge them. This is a brand new thing.
Viva la vie!!
It is sometimes easy, mostly frightening, and definitely taken moment by moment with openness toward what would be shown to me. Its been done in silence and alone. … with the help of a few friends in this online community
I could be shown ANYTHING!!
“Sure! Hello, nice to meet you, shadow self… welcome. The tea is ready. Have a seat!”
I‘m Alcohol FREE!
The Spirit is not in the Bottle it’s in You …
Rethink the Drink
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How do you go Sober? ( more reading in blue titles)
B Be accountable Talk to Us We Understand
A Avoid alcohol like the plague Ideas Here
L Let yourself enjoy regular sober treats Ideas Here
A Allow yourself to cry when needed Ideas Here
N Nourish your body with good food Ideas Here
C Create happy & fun memories Ideas Here
E Enjoy the precious moments in your day Ideas Here
W Work hard to get what you want Ideas Here
O Organise things for less stress Ideas Here
R Realise you can’t control it all Ideas Here
K Keep going & prepare for success Ideas Here
S Sleep enough for body & mind rest Sleep Solutions