Today marks three months sober for me. As proud as I am, it’s been quite the journey so far. And yesterday was the closest I’ve come to kicking that fuckit bucket! But my sober momentum keeps me pointed in the right direction, with the help of this community no doubt. With that said, here’s my ode to momentum.
Sobriety road trip – A journey fueled by hope, love, joy, and inspiration.
There was once a road I traveled every day, I would cross a bridge into the town of Oblivion where I spent a lot of time. In fact, I spent years traveling back and forth, to and from that town. Over time, I began to notice the roads in that town were becoming very bumpy and worn. The shops there carried the same old stuff, and nothing much ever changed. My vehicle was in grave disrepair as traveling on those roads on a daily basis really wore out the suspension and tires. Also, my windshield became so dirty and hard to see through as my wiper blades were totally worn out and I had no more windshield washer fluid. But it was fine, or at least that’s what I kept telling myself. Actually, I had no ambition to fix these things, as I had grown so tired and was used to traveling around that town in that way on a daily basis.
And then one day my car broke down in Oblivion and I had no one else to call but my husband. He told me he was very unhappy with me because I was spending so much time and money in Oblivion. He gave me a lecture about how I should really consider not going there anymore and start using my saved money to work on my car. I was so upset, just beside myself as I didn’t even know he noticed how much time and money I spent there. I was shaken up pretty badly, I felt so lost and frightened as I barely remembered doing much outside of Oblivion. I was so ashamed and blamed myself for my negligence as my car was barely able to get me to and from my job.
The following morning I crossed that bridge into Oblivion in my broken-ass car and went to work. I was a mess and my boss knew something was up. I had to tell him what had happened, as hard as it was. He gave me a big hug and asked if I had anyone I had used in the past to help me when my car was broken down. I told him yes, and he strongly advised me to reach out to them, and I agreed. He comforted me and told me to take some days off to get my car taken care of. A couple of days later, I notified my coworkers that I would be off work for a few days and gave them a little synopsis of what had happened. Then one of my coworkers gave me the name of the “Boozemusings Repair Company” saying they had had similar trouble last summer and it was a good reputable company to work with.
Once on their website, I discovered a ton of instructions on how to repair my own car, and in there was an online chat group called BOOM where I could ask live questions about how to repair and maintain my car myself.
So, I sat at home for a couple of weeks and studied it, and these are a few of the main things I found out. BOOM offers an insurance policy that you can use anytime you need any help with your vehicle. Whether it is how to change your flat tire, or how to replace your windshield wiper blades and fill your washer fluid if your windshield gets cloudy…the list goes on and on. BOOM also has a GPS that can be installed on your phone in case you get lost. And they support a slew of products that will improve your car by a manufacturer called “Sober AF”. I was elated and relieved!!
So, I started to work on fixing my car, I put new Sober AF tires on, replaced my wiper blades with Sober AF all-weather wiper blades, and filled my windshield washer fluid with, you guessed it, Sober AF all temperature washer fluid. And with the money I had saved by not going to Oblivion every day, I was able to repair my suspension, so my car rides much smoother these days. Recently I started to get my car washed regularly and keep my gas tank full which I rarely did while in Oblivion.
The bridge to Oblivion is now closed, but I drive to the “road closed” sign almost every day and peer into the town through my now clean windshield and I remember the good and bad times I had there. At first, I’d just sit there and wonder about what I was missing there. But then I started to look around outside of that town and found a two-track path that goes around Oblivion, and it lead me to a town called Serenity. That town is new to me, and I find it very beautiful. I do my best to catch the sunrise and sunset there every day. I never even noticed them when I was in Oblivion as that town was mostly dark and cloudy.
As I travel around Serenity sometimes the radio is playing a song that I used to listen to when I was spending most of my time in Oblivion and I have to change the channel. Interestingly, some of the songs I used to listen to while in Oblivion mean different things now, and I hear them in a whole different way. And then there are those times when I lose my way to Serenity and end up at the edge of Oblivion, but every road that leads to it is a dead end. On some roads there are all kinds of signs leading up to the edge of Oblivion that say ‘one way’, ‘no U turn’, ‘yield’, and ‘stop’ and I know I need to turn around right then. Other times I’m surprised to find myself at the edge of that town as I was sure I was headed in a completely different direction. But, no worries cuz all I have to do is open my BOOM GPS, and I’m able find my way out of there fairly easily.
The more I travel on the outskirts of Oblivion, the more comfortable I am to venture further away. The road to Serenity is now gravel and much more heavily traveled. Also, I have discovered other roads that lead to even more beautiful towns, the newest one I discovered is Peace, and next to that one is Love. They are kinda like twin cities and share a lot of common themes.
All in all, I don’t miss being in Oblivion every day. As I move forward and my sober momentum builds outside of Oblivion, I’m less and less inclined to think about going there. I love my new Sober AF upgrades to my car and I am much more inclined to give it the necessary attention. Once in a while, I notice Oblivion in my rearview mirror, but there’s not much time to study it while I’m moving forward. And every day I come home to a smiling husband, and I get to park my beautiful car safely in the garage every night.
To be continued….
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