They thought that they could tame the beast
In order to relax, have fun
Or find peace 
But the booze beast who came to tea
Was not at all harmless, 
It couldn’t be 

It was there for a feast 
Repeatedly 

They thought that they were in control 
That moderating visits wouldn’t take it’s toll
That they were okay
Even on a roll
Until the monster swallowed them whole 

And Alcohol said
“You can’t blame me
It’s in my nature 
And poison is never good
Is it really ?

Don’t take it personally 
It’s not that I hate ya 
I’m made to be addictive 
So it’s not you
It’s me”

How do you beat the booze beast?

How do you stop drinking? How do you go alcohol free?

There is definitely a difference between sadly giving something up, and knowing when you’ve had enough.

When you are sick of your own bs and know it needs to change, even if you weren’t that bad.

There comes a point when you pull yourself up

and say

right ok

next chapter

and it better be worth it!

I’m Ready for More

There’s a point where what you want is different to what you wanted before. You might still hanker for a drink secretly, like a bad boyfriend with his motorbike, leather jacket and too cool to care attitude.

It wouldn’t give you what you need now though. Perhaps … the devilishly handsome bad boyfriend just embodies your youth, freedom from responsibility, rebellion, permission to be selfish and have fun but was it really real? You know it would be going nowhere at all now.

Sure there were good times and anticipation of whether they’d be at the same party or night out as you, would they notice you and come over to chat?

Looking back on my student days if I had my time again I’d see that aloof, sexy boyfriend differently. I’d think he was arrogant, cliched, rude and narcissistic but back then he was a challenge.

Now thinking about it he was a bit of a tw@t

I wouldn’t give the time of day to.

So perspectives change over time, I wouldn’t ever drink 20/20 again or Thunderbird, or Blastaways or unidentified cocktails urgh. My friends’ joke they taught me to drink wine as I always used to go for Tia Maria and coke lol I must’ve been an expensive date 🤣

Anyway these irresponsible, fun, ill-advised times, blackouts occasionally, falling asleep in taxis or the time I got ready with friends to go out dressed as superheroes ( I was Catwoman), I spent ages getting my costume on point etc then decided to stay in the taxi and go home as I was tired and drunk or as a student walking home 3 miles at 2am from the student union as i missed the safety bus (what was I thinking?) and lots of other stuff over the years I just….I’m ready for less toxic shit in my life.

I’m ready for more, more meaning, more depth to things, more colour and beauty and appreciation of life and smiles, even bad moods, complex emotions, figuring things out, working hard, family time, real cuddles instead of cuddling myself in wine.

I think with sobriety you just get more, more opportunities, more appreciation for good food, remembering conversations, having great conversations, feeding your sparkly brain knowledge, memories, experiences, precious moments rather than dumbing it down with alcohol.

You can still be silly, sexy, funny, argumentative, naughty, immature, loving, everything really, alcohol doesn’t provide us with a personality, we own who we are. Alcohol just takes away our pause button where we have a minute to think before speaking or acting.

So why have FOMO when we actually get MORE sober?

M Moods are authentic
O Our personality is free to play &
R Really being present means our
E Experiences are enriched

Let’s claim our right to thrive!

Wine with everything?

Actually, you couldn’t pay me to drink now
I never thought I’d say that
But my mind’s changed somehow
I’ve become much more aware of what’s in that bottle there
And so no thanks
I don’t want to share

I’ll say to friends

“You do what’s right for you
And I’ll do likewise
But at some point, you might
Want to open your eyes”

My friend drinks such a lot so often
Thinking that then life’s hard edges can soften
But that’s just on a path to a body that could go rotten
I wish these feelings with her I could share
It would be an act of love and care
But until people are ready
They don’t see what could be there

The alcohol industry is so deceptive and clever
When they managed to associate wine with self-care
But that is never true,  ever

And so they say things that make booze seem ok
And the stuff we all want to hear anyway:

“Spa days and wine”
“It’ll be fine”
“Bad day at work/ homeschooling
Wine works every time”
“Want another drink?”
And that oh so cool line
“Is it too early for chardonnay or gin?”

But when exactly does addiction begin?
I think sobriety is the ingredient to really win
The alcohol industry don’t tell us to only drink now and again
But that’s probably because it means much less profit for them
They think please keep pouring that poison down your neck
We know that it’s dangerous
But we don’t actually give a ‘feck

And if when the addictive substance causes addiction or illness
‘Cos those facts are true
We’ve got our argument ready
We’ll just blame it on you.

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More reading :

Did Drinking Give Me Breast Cancer?

What is the Life Expectancy of an Alcoholic?

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This post was written by Floss, author of  Little Black Dress, and other poetic musings on living alcohol-free

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